𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐑

29

nessa sits in mads' car that she asked to borrow for a few hours. her hands grip around the steering wheel as she takes sharp deep breaths. his house is a few feet away from her and she can hear her heartbeat getting louder the more she convinces herself that this is the right thing to do.

"fuck it" she mutters, unbuckling her seatbelt and getting out of the car.

she struts up the driveway at a fast pace, going over what she's going to say to him in her head on a loop. when she gets to the door, nessa presses the doorbell. normally she wouldn't bother knocking and would instead walk straight into the house but she isn't planning on staying for long.

there's shuffling coming from the other side and the sound of keys rattling. nessa takes this time to fix her hair and breathe.

when the door opens, mikey stands with a half smile and confused look on his face.

"i'm in love with josh".

nessa closes her mouth as quick as she opened it. she had this whole conversation planned out and she knew how she was going to break the news to mikey and this wasn't the plan.

he looks back at her with genuine disbelief. to say that he's stunned would be an understatement. mikey steps outside, nessa taking a few steps back.

"are you being serious right now?" he yells, startling nessa.

he's never yelled at her before but she can see why he's angry right now.

"mikey i'm sorry but i could never tell you that i love you because i'm in love with josh and i have been for a while now. i would feel bad about continuing this relationship knowing i wasn't being true to myself-"

"and what about me huh? you play me for five months and then all of a sudden you end things for him? when are you gonna realise nessa that he doesn't love you back. he couldn't be supportive of you, has he ever once congratulated you on any of your success? NO it's been me all along" mikey rants, taking her hand.

nessa can't hold back the tears anymore and she starts to cry.

"would you prefer i lie to you?" she asks, choked up.

mikey looks down at the ground.

"you're a great guy mikey but we're just not supposed to be together. i'm sorry".

nessa leans up to kiss him on the cheek before making her way back to the car, wiping at her wet face and trying her best to not look back.

she can hear mikey punch something as she gets back into the car. her head is pounding and her eyes sting. she does love mikey but not in the way he wants her to. their relationship was never going to be great especially if it was built on lies.

the only place nessa wants to be right now is away from everything and everyone. she doesn't want to go back to mads' while she's upset so being alone is the best option. she puts the car into drive and heads to the one place she knows will be deserted.

_______________

'messages'

mads💗
hey b you okay?
it's almost 1am and ur not home yet
just text me back so i know <3

nessa
sorry! yes i'm okay
i'm actually going to stay out a while longer
i'm filling the car up with gas rn tho
so don't worry abt it 💘

mads💗
i'm not worried abt the car
i'm worried about you.
be safe pls and keep ur phone on at all times
i love you

nessa
i love you more

________________

nessa pulls up at the spot anthony showed her when she first arrived at LA. it's a secluded clifftop in bel-air that overlooks the quiet part of the city and it's so peaceful. she gets out of the car and walks a couple of minutes until she arrives at the broken part of a tall building that's perfect for sitting on and provides a killer view.

taking a seat and letting her legs dangle off of the side, nessa keeps her eyes fixated on the skyline. hills and houses blend in with the dark night sky. there's only a few stars out tonight but that doesn't matter.

nessa takes this time to reflect on her earlier conversation with jaden. talking with him helped her come to a few realisations and it was an important step in the new right direction for her. it made her think about what her relationship with mikey really was. it was an excuse to avoid how she really felt about josh. being with mikey was an attempt to help her forget that she ever felt that way about her best friend. the timeline didn't help either and she got scared that they didn't know each other that well  but she knew josh in more ways than she could ever know mikey. talking with jaden helped her accept those feelings and now that she has, it's terrifying but she's now ready for whatever comes next.

"nessa?".

alarmed, the startled girl whips her head around.

maybe she's not as ready as she thought.

____________________

okay yall get 1 more update
for today at least anyway

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