𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐑

34

josh can feel his heart beat pounding against his ribcage, the sound flooding his ears, drowning out any and all other noise that surrounds him. did he hear mikey correctly? he and nessa aren't together? and it's all because of him? josh takes notice of their surrounding friends and his current girlfriend who still hasn't looked up from her phone for long enough to know what's going on.

grabbing her hand, josh pulls nessa away from the group as he starts to walk back inside- his pace fast and nessa struggling to keep up. he forgets just how small she is compared to him.

"josh will you please just slow down, what's wrong".

he doesn't stop however. instead, he makes a turn and suddenly their inside the bathroom. josh closes the door so they can have some privacy. the last thing he wants is for the others to know about their businesses. nessa stands by the door, hugging herself  as she feels her nerves grow by the second. josh leans against the counter, staring at the shower  floor, his chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

the total silence in the small confined room is almost eerie but neither one of them know what to say. josh just needs answers.

"why didn't you tell me that you broke up?" he asks nessa, the question surprising her. she refuses to be the bad guy in this situation however.

"probably the same reason why you never told me about sarah" she snaps back. taking him by surprise.

josh looks at nessa for the first time since they entered the room. he knits his eyebrows together, his red cheeks getting warmer. he pushes himself off of the counter and leans against the wall, scoffing.

"that's different".

"how is that different!".

they stare at each other intensely, both of them too stubborn for their own good.

"i'm with sarah now because you chose mikey" josh mutters, breaking the eye contact.

nessa can sense the hurt in his tone and her heart aches for him. how did everything get so messy. how did they go from being best friends to not even so much as speaking to each other for a whole five months?

"i didn't chose mikey over you joshua. i would never chose anyone over you. our timing just sucks" she sighs, folding her arms.

josh stifles a laugh at her comment. it's true. their timing does indeed suck.

he finds himself thinking about the day at the airport and all the things that could have happened if he had just let her talk. they could be together right now as it should be. they could be happy.

josh looks back over at nessa who's found herself in a world of her own. his stomach does a flip when she looks back at him. he soon finds himself walking towards her- her eyes searching his for a sign as to what he's doing. josh stops when he can't possibly get any closer to her. the smell of her perfume lingers in the air around her and he takes his hand, tucks the few strands of hair behind her ear and leaves his hand resting on her cheek.

nessa holds her breath when he leans down closer to her face. if she had any sense she'd stop whatever was about to happen out of respect for their friendship and josh's girlfriend that's right outside but it seems her will power has gone into hiding and she lets him close the gap, butterflies flying around in her stomach like crazy when their lips touch for the first time.

at first it's slow and steady- gentle even. it's the perfect kiss like the ones you read about the princess's receiving  at the end of storybooks or the ones in teen rom-com movies that you dream of having someday. for both of them it's magic and the best feeling they've ever felt.

nessa deepens the kiss, josh smiling against her plump lips in response. their hands explore every part of each other, discovering something new as they go along.

"joshyyyy where are you?".

they break apart- both of them feeling cold at the loss of each other's warm touch. nessa feels a pit of guilt settle in her stomach when she remembers that josh has a girlfriend but it's not her.

"that was-"

"a mistake".

josh looks at nessa as if she had just shot a puppy. he feels the word wound him instantaneously, his heart cracking.

"a mistake?" he repeats. his tone bitter.

"fuck, josh no that's not what i meant" nessa cries, reaching out to him. josh backs away, shaking his head.

"i don't get it nessa i really don't. i love you and i'm willing to do anything and everything for us to be together and you broke up with mikey because you have feelings for me yet here we have the perfect opportunity to be together finally and you're saying it's a mistake?" josh rants.

nessa sniffles.

"you have a girlfriend josh. i don't want to be the reason you break up".

"yeah? well i didn't want to be the reason you and mikey broke up but here we are. don't be a hypocrite".

feeling many emotions all at once, nessa let's herself cry because he's right. she is being a hypocrite. but it's the right thing to do.

"i'm sorry but i cant" she says, her voice cracking.

josh nods, wiping away his own tears that nessa only now notices are there.

"well i can't just be friends with you nessa so i'm sorry too but i think it would be best if we gave each other some space". josh tries to move past her but nessa stands in his way.

they're both crying messes as they look at each other- their hearts breaking.

"please don't say that. josh please.  i can't not have you in my life" she sobs.

josh takes her into his arms, they hug tightly. nessa doesn't even care that she's getting his shirt wet with her tears, she just hates that this is probably the last time she'll ever get to hug him.

pulling away, josh kisses her forehead, gently moving her out of the way so he can leave. before closing the door, he looks at her as she tries to control her crying- he wishes she would just stop letting herself get in the way of them being happy.

josh takes a deep breath, blinking.

"goodbye ness".

_________________________

nessa.....GURL

don't hate me
:)

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