𝐍𝐔𝐌𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐑

40

carefully, nessa picks up the sleeping boy in her arms. she cradled him as if he were an abnormally large baby and carries him slowly into her bedroom. upon arriving home and getting his pyjamas on, william insisted that he sleep in with nessa tonight because olivia apparently sleep talks and he's just trying to get his beauty sleep.

after tucking him in tight and putting a spare pillow at the edge so he doesn't fall, nessa kisses his forehead and switches on the galaxy lights that project on her ceiling. the things she buys because of tiktok is ridiculous.

closing the door ajar behind her as she leaves the room, she takes a peak inside of the guest bedroom where olivia is also in dreamland. she looks very cozy and comfy tucked under the pile of blankets and stuffed animals.

when they got home earlier, nessa the kids got changed and then had a movie night with popcorn and everything. william picked the movie of course and the girls had to watch all of the how to train your dragon movies even though william fell asleep halfway through the second one. the poor kid was all sugar rushed out.

it's been nice for nessa to bond with josh's siblings. they themselves might be in a weird place right now but they're still best friends and they always will be so having a relationship with his family is really important for nessa to have. a relationship with his girlfriend? not so much a priority.

nessa begins to clear up the messy living room. she gathers all the popcorn bowls and puts the trash away. she folds up the blankets and puts them back inside the hamper she got from ikea. when the room is back to its normal tidy self, she makes her way into the kitchen, wiping down the surfaces.

midway through filling the dishwasher, she hears a knock at her front door. glancing up at the clock, nessa frowns when she sees that it's already almost 3 am. she furrows her brows- wondering who on earth would be at her house, at this time.

she starts to worry as she makes her way down the hallway and to the door. what if something has happened? what if there's a murder on the other side of the door. what if

    quietly, she presses against the door, her bare arms and stomach making contact with the coldness. she shivers. slowly nessa looks through the peephole, furrowing her brows in confusion when she sees a drunken josh standing on the other side.

  she unlocks the door and opens it up, the two staring at each other. josh has flushed cheeks which is a clear piece of evidence to prove he's been drinking. nessa starts to panic.

 
    "what are you doing here? you didn't drive did you? josh i swear to god if you drove!-"

   "i didn't drive. i got an uber. can i come in, please?".  he looks the picture of a broken man. nessa can't help but wonder what happened.

    she cares about him even if he did unintentionally break her heart. she broke his first.

      nessa pulls him inside, taking his hand and locking the door back behind her. there's no way he's leaving this house until the morning when he's sober and can see two feet in front of him.

    they walk into the living room, josh taking a seat on the couch after taking his shoes and coat off while nessa goes into the fridge, taking out two bottles of water for them both.

    "are you going to tell me why you're so upset?" she asks, her voice stern like he's bothering her.

     josh takes the bottle from her, mumbling a thank you. he stares at the carpet, aware of nessa crossing her legs into a basket on the seat next to him. he breathes in her perfume, the marc jacobs daisy one that he bought her. his favorite scent on her.

     "why didn't you come to my party?" he says bluntly without looking up.

    "i told you, william was-"

   "i don't want the bullshit excuse you gave everyone else nessa, i want the truth. i deserve the truth". he argues, this time he looks up. his blue eyes are foggy.

     the outburst surprises nessa, she'd be lying if she said it didn't. but why does it matter?

     "because you told her you were in love with her, in front of me" she sighs, running a hand through her messy hair.

     josh glares at her, a new found rage boiling up inside. is she joking?

       "what did you want me to do nessa? in fact no better question. what do you want to do? make up your mind whether you want to be with me or not. you're playing games with me ness. i'm sick of playing games. i don't love sarah, i said that because she was going to hate me if i didn't and may i remind you it was you who told me that i should be with her? i didn't want to be with her but i tried. i tried for YOU".

    nessa looks away from the upset boy. she can't bare to have this conversation right now. they're both going to regret it.

    "josh you're drunk let's just talk about this in the morn-".

    "NO! i'm having this conversation now. i need answers nessa. i need to know why you're so hellbent on hurting me. i love you. not sarah! i'm not in love with her and i never will be, it's you and it always has been. i'm a dick for being with her when i know i could never fully be with her but i'm doing it because that's what you wanted. you didn't want me. remember? why does me telling her that i love her upset you-"

  "because i love you joshua" nessa yells, regretting the loud volume instantly. she forgot about the kids being asleep.

     josh stands up and puts on his coat, he attempts to put on his shoes but nessa stops him, picking up the converse and holding them.

    "you're not in any fit state to be wondering the streets" she tells him but he gently cups her face.

    "nessa i promise i'm not drunk. i'm heartbroken and confused and upset. if you love me then why do you keep pushing me away? why can't we be together?" he asks, his voice cracking.

   nessa drops the shoes, wrapping her arms around the tall boy. she cries into his dress shirt, josh too letting the tears fall. they sit back down onto the couch, wrapped in each other's arms. nessa's head rests on his shoulder and josh kisses her forehead.

      "i don't want to keep pushing you away josh, i want to have forever with you and only you. we just have so much to lose and i'm scared" she mumbles, hugging him tighter.

    josh sighs in frustration. he holds the girl he's truly in love with in his arms, taking in the past half hour. he knows that he needs to break up with sarah and then finally he can be with nessa. he hates himself for stringing her along but it's been out of guilt for cheating on her and he promised himself that he wouldn't hurt her again. he's not that kind of guy.

   the two lay together in perfect silence, their hearts beating fast and eyes closing. they fall asleep eventually, holding each other.

______________

fucking emotional man

comment & vote