again | johnten

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When you really think about it, time doesn't exist. Things like hours, days, months and years were made up by people who just wanted to organize their life, without thinking about all the negative side effects that it would have on other people's lives. It caused people to be late to events because now they actually started at a specific time and not when the sun went down. It caused wives to cry about their husband's disappearances when they were told that their lover was gone for 3 days. Simple numbers started hurting them and there was nothing they could do about it.

The people who were affected the most were lovers who got separated by enlistment or other things which couldn't get postponed. They cried but their tears didn't matter to the others.

That's exactly what happened to John Suh and Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul, who got separated by time. 

Time, which they both wished to freeze. 

That day was particularly difficult for the two boys as it was the first day of the second week of summer, all the way back in 2012. It was the last full day of Chittaphon's year-long student exchange. He had traveled all the way back from Thailand to Chicago where he moved in with the Suh family and although his life at the beginning wasn't the easiest, he quickly got used to the American way of living. 

He was informed about the fact that he would have a brother in the exchange family before his departure which he was incredibly excited about but as soon as they met, his enthusiasm died down immediately. John wasn't interested in talking to him at all and it took them nearly a month to finally properly introduce themselves to each other. It took three months for them to become inseparable however.

Now they were sitting in Chittaphon's room, the younger on the floor packing his suitcase and Johnny sitting on his bed, clearly looking a bit broken down. He tried to convince himself that the reason for his sadness wasn't the other's departure which seemed to be coming way too fast.

"Can't you stay, Ten?" John asked using the nickname the younger asked to be called by as soon as they met, his voice trembling. He didn't want to admit to it at the time but this small boy he hated at the beginning of last year had become his everything and now he had to go back home, all the way from Chicago to Thailand. It seemed like something that just couldn't happen or the world would end.

"Johnny, you know I can't. We talked about this a few times already." sighed Ten and stood up to walk over to the older boy, who without thinking immediately pulled him into his lap. It came as a bit of a surprise to the both of them since they never got as close but they didn't mind. It was probably because they knew they won't be able to hug ever again or if they could, it would be a long time from now. 

"I'll miss you" the younger whispered, breaking their short moment of silence and buried his face in Johnny's hair, unaware that those words alone nearly broke the other down even more. 

Why was it so difficult to let go? When did they grow so close that a simple thought of being separated caused so much pain? 

"I'll miss you too, you don't even know how much." Johnny muttered into the younger's neck, slightly brushing his lips over the delicate skin which caused Ten to shiver but he quickly brushed it off, thinking it was an accident. The lack of space between their bodies calmed them down although it really should've done the opposite since it was so unexpected and uunsusual. It was something that would soon turn into a memory they could both think back to whenever they missed each other.

The next day, Johnny did manage to let go of Ten, with the promise that they'll try to remain friends, but he struggled during the whole ordeal. When he came back home, he broke down and threw a whole tantrum despite being 17 and wanting to be treated seriously by the world. His parents let him be, thinking that he'd quickly forget about the boy whom they'd come to love as well during the past year.