Little One

PaTiEnCe

I walked into the room to see my brother lying down on the bed. He had machines all over him. I was about to start crying. He looked so helpless and that was the last word I would use to describe any of my brothers. My heart fluttered thinking about what I was going to do or say. Of course I am pissed at him for what he did. 

After my careful warnings and even my family's warnings. So I won't forget the emotions I feel about that situation, but other set of emotions are taking over. There's time for me to feel those mad emotions later. The tears in my eyes hit my cheeks. It was like a waterfall. "Serena... I am so-" Auggie started while he was situating in his bed, but I cut him off.

"SHUT UP!" I shouted, causing him to flinch in surprise. "It's my turn first."

I walked over to him and I sat down on the bed by his legs. "Auggie... I am pissed at you. More pissed than I have ever been at anyone in my life before. But let me make one thing very freaking clear. I love you to death and I want you alive. Because if you die then who else will I be mad at?"

He seemed to register what I was saying in slow motion. Auggie looked hurt and guilty, but mostly he looked upset. I know that, that hurt and anger was targeted towards himself. 

I continued, not slowing down at all, "I am mad at you, but if anything would have happened to you-"

 I was choked by the large lump in my throat. I nodded my head, trying to get rid of the image of Auggie in a casket. That's something I never want to think about nor experience. 

"You have to be more careful Auggie. I can't have anything happen to you. I care about you so much and I feel so damn guilty for not saying that I love you when we were at Disney. Because I do love you. I love you so much. And I didn't mean what I said at school. I love being your sister and I wouldn't want any other brother. I would do anything to call myself your sister. I would do anything for you Augs. I would give my life for you in a heart beat. No hesitation, no question, no pause, period."

His guilty expression slowly started to dissolve. He smiled and it grew bigger and bigger by the second. Auggie didn't know what to say, but if I am being honest, I didn't want him to say anything. "Well get some rest." I ordered him. "I'll go see when you'll be let out."

I started to walk out, but he reached for my hand and squeezed it firmly. It wasn't painful, but it was tight like he didn't want to let me go within that second. "All that stuff you said just a second ago." he muttered, looking me deeply in my eyes. "Same. All of it and then some."

I gave him a short smile and squeezed his hand in return. "Go to sleep..."

I walked out and I wiped my cheeks before walking into the waiting room. "Hey. How is he?" Atticus asked eagerly, standing out of his chair. "Can I see him?"

I nodded my head and he walked pass me swiftly, squeezing my shoulder in a comforting way before leaving. I gave him a small smile. "So did you guys reconcile?" PJ asked me, looking at me as I sat down next to him. "Please tell me you did."