Chanel •Billie Eilish• (rewritten)

9- It's Not What You Think

chen's pov:

My eyes fluttered from the sunlight shining on my face. I'm met with the face of my angel holding me. I admired her for a hot minute.

I found myself imagining stuff that I want to do to her. Basically I got myself wet.

She stirred a little bit so I acted like I was sleeping so she wouldn't think that I'm a creep for staring at her while she sleeps. Damn, I'm falling hard.

I got to the bathroom and took out my journal from the secret safe in the wall that I made my mom build me. I sat down on the toilet to take a shit and write what was on my mind.

_________________________

Date: September 21st, 2016
Title: Am I gay?

"I have feelings for Billie. I think I might come out to my friends. I need help or I'll go crazy over what I am. I find myself falling harder everytime I see her. I don't even know my sexuality anymore... I'm lost. Do I like girls and guys? I mean I'm attracted to both... I don't know, man. I might be bisexual, but am I really bi?"

I put it on the counter next to me to finish my morning routine. After I got outta the bathroom, I walked back into the room to find everyone sleeping, so I went over to Billie and straddled her.

I started peppering kisses on her face. Willow who slept next to me woke up from the loud smooching noises. I felt a sting on my ass, making me gasp. "You got a fat ass." Willow got up, and ran to the bathroom. "Nasty bitch." I giggled.

Bil stirred and shifted her head to the side while I kissed her face, making me kiss her neck. I rocked with it. I kept kissing her neck until I kissed on that one spot that made her gasp, which stopped me from moving.

She is definitely awake by now. I pulled away an inch from her face. She opened her eyes and smiled at me with flushed cheeks. Ah my heart, she's so gorgeous.

"Morning, Chen." She said to me and pulled me in her arms. Her morning voice is so sexy and raspy.

Oh my God... No way - Did I deadass leave my journal on the counter?! OPENED???!!!!!!!!

I got up and rushed to the bathroom door, breaking that shit. Fuck, I should've written that after they've went back home. Willow swung the door with the journal in her hand. "What is this?" I pushed her into the bathroom, leaning back on the door and locking it.

I yanked the journal out of her hand. "You weren't supposed to see that - I'm so stupid, I'm sorry-" I try explaining myself but she cuts me off. "I'm happy for you, and remember you can always talk to us, Chen." she says, reassuring me.

She's not mad at me. Oh thank god, she's not. I hugged her. We pulled away after seconds I made her turn around and close her eyes so that I could put that journal back in its place.

I opened the door to find everyone awake.

Oh fuck, they're going to think that something else happened in there.

Everyone shot their heads to Willow and I, standing in the wide open bathroom door. "It's not what you think! She found something that she wasn't supposed to know about at all. And we had to talk about it." I say. "I don't even know what to say, my brain isn't functioning at all. I just woke up, god damn it." I kept rambling as Willow just stood by, watching me and holding her laugh back.