Small Doses

Chapter 15: Gulf

It's ten in the morning. I have been walking for fifteen minutes now sweating under the heat of the sun. I asked the bus driver to drop me off the highway, then I hitched hike to this town. What Olive didn't tell me is that there is going to be a long stretch of an empty road that I need to take before I reach Mew. Good thing I am wearing my cap, shades, a thin old white tee, the polo I was wearing now at the back pocket of my ripped jeans and my lucky chucks on my feet.

I looked at the map app on my phone, I still have a long way to go. Fuck! I don't even know why I am doing this. All I know is I felt so guilty yesterday. But now that I am here under the heat of the sun, I don't feel so guilty anymore. Why should I? I didn't encourage him. I was clear from the start. The necklace was for friendship and nothing else. I made that very clear too. And he doesn't even look like he is affected anyway. He just sulks and sulks and brushes me off. Yeah Gulf, why will he make an effort when you made it clear that you're straight every chance you get. Why? Why?!! Because we're suppose to be friends that's why. But are you? Did he actually say that he is okay with being your friend? And if it's just really friendship for you, what are you even doing here? You don't even do this for girls you dated before.

Shit! I'm arguing with myself. This is what the heat of the sun combined with the most complex man can do to me.

After 5 minutes of arguing with myself and a load of sweat trickling down my forehead, I see a white car approaching me. I can't see the inside of the car clearly because of the reflection of the sun. It slowed down and stopped in front of me. The driver's window rolled down. I looked closer. Mew. He is wearing shades too.

"Get in." He said. All the arguments inside my head shut down. I went to the passenger's seat.

I felt shy all of a sudden so I looked at his car. It looks pristine and smells like it just got out of the shower, or is that Mew? I turned to him. I caught him looking at me. We both turned our heads in front.

"So I guess, Olive called you."

"How was the ending ceremony?"

We both said at the same time. We looked at each other again. Then he looked down at my shoes and the dirt I brought from outside.

My feelings of frustration coming out again. "Oh come on Mew, your car won't be ruined by my dirty shoes."

He looked at the road again, "I didn't say anything."

I looked at him with a look that says I want to murder him, too bad I'm wearing shades.

He glanced at me, "What?"

"You know you can be very frustrating Mew."

He glanced again, "How? I kept my distance. I am not even saying anything."

I breathed deeply. Calm down Gulf, calm down. After a couple of breathes, "Is there anything you want to tell me though? You can tell me if you feel upset or disappointed or whatever it is you're feeling."

He glanced again, then maneuvered the car, "We're here though." He got out of the car.

I closed my eyes and counted. 2001. 2002. 2003. 2004. 2005. Then I got out as well. I followed him inside.

Once inside, he turned to me, "You can put your things in the sofa for now, the shower is there." He pointed at the bathroom behind the kitchen.

I might as well shower first to cool my head.

After the shower, I see him in the kitchen preparing a meal with an older guy. Upon noticing me, he introduced me right away. "Ben this is Gulf, a colleague in the office. Gulf, Ben here is Olive's father."

I smiled at Ben and gave him my outstretched hand, "Hi Ben! I am fond of your daughter."

"Hello Sir Gulf." He shook my hand.

"Just call me G, Ben." I said.

"Okay G," he said. Then he turned to Mew. "Are you sure you can manage Mew?"

"Yes Ben. However, G here might want to go with you back in the city." Mew looked at me.

"Huh?" I asked.

"Ben will go back to the city today and will just fetch me tomorrow here. You might want to go with him since it's so hard to find a ride here."

My head which has cooled off after the shower is again losing it. "No Mew." I turned to Ben. "Ben, you can go. I'll stay here and will go back to the city with Mew tomorrow. Will that be all right Mew?" I said with gritted teeth.

Mew is not looking at me. He is chopping a fucking vegetable. "If that's what you want."

Want? What I want is to throw this fucking towel at you.

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My stomach is grumbling from the smell of the dish, Mew is cooking. "How long is that gonna be Mew?"

"Almost done. There is another room upstairs, you can leave your things there while I prepare."

I went upstairs and stayed there for a while. I need as much distance from him as I can muster before I get tempted to squeeze his throat so he can blurt out what he's feeling inside. I only went down when I was so hungry and the smell of the food can't be ignored anymore.

He looked at my direction when he heard me coming down the stairs. He smiled, "The food is ready."

"Something is really wrong with you?" I finally blurted out. I can't stop myself anymore.

"Nothing's wrong with me Gulf." He said while preparing the utensils.

"I just don't understand how you can sulk then smile the next moment all on your own like a crazy person."

We both sat down in front of the food, then he looked at me for a long time, "I'm happy you decided to stay Gulf."

I felt something in my chest, it travelled to my face. I released a smile. "Okay then."

He smiled too.

"Let's eat," I said, then looked at the food avoiding his stare. "They smell so good. What are these?"

"It's cripy pork basil and pork stew with banana blossom. I hope you like it." He said while he put some on my plate.

I tasted it and went to food heaven. "Oh My God Mew! These tastes so good. I can eat this everyday." I said while munching more food.

"That good huh?" Mew looked at me the way he looked when he won the last game yesterday. Like a kid who won his first medal.