Small Doses

Chapter 24: Mew

Jeremy's call after lunch gave me just the right distraction and confidence to trust in what Gulf had said. He maybe right. If I have other friends, maybe I will understand the difference of the relationship he has with Diane and me. This was attested when I met Jeremy for coffee.

I've known Jeremy since grade school. We were best friends. We did things together. Between the two of us, he was the risk taker while I was always cautious. He pushed me to explore my love for music. He motivated me to build my company from scratch. He was always there, ready to lend support. He was even there when my first girlfriend dumped me and I bawled my heart out. It was all good between us until five years ago.

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5 years ago

"Stay here Mew, you're crazy drunk," Jeremy said sprawled in the sofa with a bottle of vodka in his hand.

"Fuck Jeremy, all women need to stay away for me. They're all no good." I said thinking about Lucy who just dumped my ass because she feels like I wasn't into her that much. I was lying on the cold tiled floor by the fireplace at Jeremy's.

"What did she say exactly? She can't just leave you just like that." Jeremy asked.

"I was wondering that too. She keeps on nagging me about being blind about my true feelings but I have honestly dug down to the deepest parts of me and still don't undersand what she means. Women are complicated Jer." I said, convincing myself that it's best this way.

"I'm here Mew, I will help you move on." Jeremy assured me.

"About that Jer. I know you're gay and all, but you know, we've been friends since I can remember. I have not, not even once,  seen you dating anyone. Jer, you need to start dating, graduating college without someone to bang is already bad enough." I said teasing him.

He looked at me then looked at the ceiling, "Let's not talk about this Mew."

"Ooooh, I've hit a nerve," I crawled to him and pestered him about it. "Come on Jer, tell me. Tell your best friend. Or do you want me to set you up with some IT guys I know?"

"Stop it Mew!" He was saying trying to get away from me.

"Haha, you're no fun. Tell me." I said nudging his shoulders. He was falling asleep.

He looked at me again and said, "Be careful what you ask Mew."

"Haha! Don't tell me you've been crushing on me cause that would be the worst joke ever." I said teasing him.

He didn't speak and just stared me down. I felt the hair on my skin crawl. "What if I do Mew? Is that so bad?"

I didn't know what to say. I was speechless.

"What if I tell you that I have loved you for so long I don't even know when it began? Will you stop being friends with me? Will you give me a chance? What will you do Mew?" He said provoking me.

"You're my best friend Jer and you know I like women. This is just a bad joke." I said with my smile wavering. I can't seem to pretend to joke about it anymore.

I was sitting on the floor pressed on the sofa where he's sprawled. He moved his face closer to mine. "Look at me Mew, am I lying right now?"

Just like that, my drunkeness dissipated. "Why are you telling me this now Jer?"

He laughed, "You asked me Mew!"

I was taken aback, "I'm going home." I stood up and called Ben on the phone. "Ben, get me now."