Give Up : Fading Love (Give Up Trilogy 1)

Simula

The moon is up in the night sky proudly. I don't know why I am staring at it now. But I feel amaze of its majestic light. Because tonight's moonlight is different. Somehow, it's strange.  How come the moon appear in the nightlight and disappear at daylight? I know its kids frequently asked question but how come the moon accept the light came from the sun and reflect it to the earth at night time? And how come the moon change it color? How come some part of the moon when it's in crescent shape fade?

Fade. I smiled bitterly.

"Yes, love do fade." I said. "And my love for you already faded."

Hindi pa rin nawawala ang pait sa aking sistema tuwing aking naaalala ang tagpo na 'yon.

Isang buntung hininga ang akin pinakawalan.

Tumingin muli ako sa buwan. Oo, nawawala ang ilang bahagi ng buwan tuwing ang hugis nito'y parang sa saging ngunit andiyan parin ito sa langit na panggabi ‘di lang nakikita.

Kahit may nawawalang parte, hindi mo maikakaila na andiyan parin ito, nakamasid, gumagabay at nag bibigay liwanag.

Siguro parang sa pag-ibig rin ito. Whenever it's in crescent shape some part fade but it's still the majestic moon, and love, when its fade, its fade. Pero hindi mo maikakaila na minahal mo siya at may parte parin siya sa puso mo. Hilingin mo man na mawala andiyan at andiyan yan. Kahit may mga bahaging nawawala, ang pagmamahal ay ‘di lumilipas.

At hindi naman yata mali na isuko at palipasin na lang ang pag-ibig sa isang tao na ‘di kayang ibalik ang pagmamahal na ibinibigay mo.

Baka, oo. Nasabi ko na hindi ko na siya mahal. That my love for him already faded. Pero still he become a part of who am I today and who am I in the future.

"Czie, halika na." Kakatapos lang ng libing ng Dad ni Daddy, si oppa lolo. I feel sad but at the same time happy and excited.

I don't know why I feel this uneasy feeling but it seems so good and right. I should be solemn but shit, why I'm feeling this.

Sorry oppa lolo.

Ayaw ko namang magmukhang kagalakgalak ang pagkamatay ng aking lolo pero andito sa puso ko ang saya at galak na nararamdaman.

Siguro dahil sa mahigit sampung taon ay nakauwi na ulit kami dito sa bayan na aking pinagsilangan.

"I'm coming." Tanging sagot ko at sumunod na lang sa sasakyan.

Grandlola is already dead bago pa man ako ipanganak at ngayon kapiling na niya si oppa lolo.

"Kuya, are you staying for good na ba?" Tita Myrna asked.

"Yeah." Daddy sighed. "Tapos naman na din ang pagpapagamot kay Czae Louie. At saka 'to naman ang gusto ni Dad, para mahandle ko na ng maayos ang negosyo."

Pumunta kami ng State for my sister sake. Almost eight years ang treatment ng kan'yang sakit. And doon na kami nag stay and lolo will always bagging papa to come home here in the Philippines but my father is the OAest person I know na kahit na sabihin na ng doctor na magaling na si Czae ay 'di pa rin ito na pilit umuwi dito kasi natatakot siya na baka atakihin ulit ng sakit si Czae.

"Czie, did you already unpack your things?" Mom asked when she saw me going upstairs.

"No, mom. I'm tired. And it's almost night. Wala pa akong pahinga since kahapon. And I know mom gano'n ka rin. So, bukas ko na lang aayosin ang gamit ko."

Here I am walking towards my school building. First day of school. It’s nice actually. The university is huge. There’s a large field and a naked man which I think serves as the iconic symbol of the university.
But somehow, I am scared. It’s been what? Ten years abroad and I don’t know anyone here in the uni. It’s my 2nd year level at college.