The Late Night Con Show

Airachnid

(KNOCKOUT enters the stage; the audience claps as he takes a seat.)

KNOCKOUT:

Good morning, bots! It's your favorite host, Knockout, here to bring you the insecticon queen herself: Airachnid.

(AIRACHNID enters. She shows no desire to be here, but she doesn't look mad. The audience is relatively excited as she sits.)

KNOCKOUT:

Welcome back, Airachnid.

AIRACHNID:

(Annoyed tone) Not the warmest welcome. I would've liked a few spotlights, but suppose a girl can get what she can get. As for being back, I hope I never see the likes of you all after this.

KNOCKOUT:

Alright, sheesh. (Puts hands up, as if in defense) Let's just start with some questions; there's quite a few, so I hope you're prepared.

(AIRACHNID nods.)

KNOCKOUT CONT:

(To the audience.) We also have a small surprise during the show!

(The audeince claps as KNOCKOUT prepares the questions.

KNOCKOUT CONT:

Now the questions! These come from Watcher732, the one from our Dreadwing interveiw (he shudders.) The first question is, "Why do you collect heads?"

AIRACHNID:

Can I have hobbies beside wanting to kill Arcee and her little pets? Of course I can. Collecting the heads of endangered species and killing them off is enjoyable! I highly recommend the hobby if your bored, or need a few heads to keep around.

KNOCKOUT:

(Vaguely disturbed) Viewers, um, please do not go around collecting heads. Thank you. Next question, "What colors do you like?"

AIRACHNID:

I've always been one for purples and pinks. More specifically, the darker tones.

KNOCKOUT:

Lovely, I'm a red kinda person. (Looks down at the paper.) Ooh, this question goes with our suprise! Soundwave bring our guests out!

(SOUNDWAVE, SHOCKWAVE, STARSCREAM, and St3v3 THE VECHICON walk out. They all take seats beside AIRACHNID. AIRACHNID looks slightly annoyed at the enterance.)

KNOCKOUT CONT:

The question for this segments comes from Fanimae3. They ask, "Who do the main cons like?" Because I couldn't fit all our cons in, I ask which ones they'd like to see. They chose me, Soundwave, Shockwave, Starscream, and St3v3. The question is also from Watcher732. They ask, "Does Airachnid like anyone?" Airachnid, you're the main star today, so you can start.

AIRACHNID:

I'm not interested in anyone. The only thing I'm interested in is the destruction of Arcee and her pet, Jack.

KNOCKOUT:

How nice. Now, er, (With no sincerity) Starscream.

STARSCREAM:

Only I, Starscream, am worthy of my affection.

KNOCKOUT:

Wow, okay you jerk. Sheesh, ego much.

(Audience laughs.)

KNOCKOUT CONT:

Soundwave? Shockwave?

SOUNDWAVE:

(Using recordings)I have not... thought about... it...

SHOCKWAVE:

I have found relationships and human's so-called "crushes" illogical. Why waste your time with mooning over a person when you could be solving the answers to the galaxy.

KNOCKOUT:

Ugh! You all are so boring! St3v3?

ST3V3 THE VECHICON:

Well... Commander Starscream is quite lovely.

STARSCREAM:

Excuse me? Go run a lap St3v3.

ST3V3 THE VECHICON:

Sir, yes, sir! (Runs off.)

KNOCKOUT:

Alright, let's wrap up!

SHOCKWAVE:

But you have not answered the question.

KNOCKOUT:

The host has to have a few mysteries. Now shoo.

(SHOCKWAVE, SOUNDWAVE, AND STARSCREAM exit.)

KNOCKOUT CONT:

Now, with that out of the way. Airachnid, there's two questions left for you. "Why do you really want to kill Arcee?" And "What do you do to look so damn hot?" Watcher732's words; not mine.

AIRACHNID:

I want to kill Arcee because I've always found her nosy and rude. And the way to master the "hotness" in my act is to talk slowly and dangerously. And the small theatrics add to it. There. You're welcome.

KNOCKOUT:

And that's a wrap!

(Lights out.)