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It's been too long since I've sat down and wrote about my feelings, so yeah! I don't know what to write about specifically, but things will come to me as I go on ya know the usual.. But like, maybe this'll be therapeutic for me. Like maybe I just need to vent nonsense to feel better? Anyways, stick around if you'd like! Time to get into some tea-👀🍵

Aye, wassup mah doods? It's ya boi, Reubs, back at it again. And today I'm just here to vent about whatever comes to my mind. As you've already read, but yeah let's get it

I'm going to start with one of the most important things for you guys, or we'll for those who even care cuz like not many people really do. Nobody really reads this shit, but that's fine! So I'm cutting to the chase! I'm thinking of leaving wattpad. Haha nice one, Reuben! 🤣 April fool's has already passed! Shut up, okay? 😡 Hear me out.. This app just brings me pain. Nothing is concrete yet, but I'm really considering deleting it cuz I hate how I feel here. Every time I open this fucking app, without fail! It's just awful.. 😔

Now don't get me wrong, there are some nice people here and I'm very thankful for them, but I just don't think I belong here anymore tbh.. I've been here for soo long, I don't even read any books here or anything, I just.. I just don't know why I'm still here. The only thing keeping me here right now is my book Forever. Sure, I haven't written in it in ages, but my dream was always to make it into a comic. I have the opportunity to make that dream a reality, so I'm using the book as a script for the comic. But I could honestly, just sit down one day and write it all down in a notebook and no longer have an excuse to be here!

So yeah that's that.. I hate it here, but I will miss the few friends I have here if I go.. But I really just can't see myself staying here. It's not even like people are talking to me all the time! Excited to talk to me, commenting on my stories, spamming my wall with love and attention, pming me and blowing up my phone with nice things.. Like that's nice and all, if it happened, but nobody loves me enough here to do so on their own behalf.. Now this being said, don't you dare pity text me. I don't want nor do I need your pity. I only wish for genuine relationships with people and happiness! I never asked to suffer, but I do. Why is that, Reuben? Because I'm a fucking dumbass who can never get his shit together without making everything fall apart as well! I don't know what I fucking want and I end up hurting people around me including myself in the process.

Then I wonder why I don't have a lot of friends. I'm an asshole, a dick, or whatever they like to call me. It's all true. I'm a two faced fake ass bitch. Yup that's me! Bitches be getting called out for being fake, but the minute they start being straightforward, they get called out for being rude.

Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Bitches 🙆‍♂️

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And now, for a random rant about kinky/horny people because nobody asked! ✌️

I was originally gonna talk about this on my mb since that gets more attention than anything else. And even still, it doesn't get that much attention. But since I'm here, I'm gonna go ahead and say what I wanted to say. Feel free to stop reading if you feel uncomfortable. What a mood change, right? Hi, yes, I also have a bipolar issue! :"D

Bitches be out here afraid to die a virgin, fucking new ones on the daily, trying to schedule dick/pussy appointments or struggling to finally get fucking laid already!

....

Hi, nice to meet you. I've changed my name, I go by Reuben now- 😐

I'm a soft boy, okay? A lot of people don't believe that. Sure, I can make dirty jokes and act kinky, but the reality of it is I'm just a shy soft boywho is actually scared of losing my V card. I'd like to hold onto it foreverrr! Sex is gross. Sex is scary. Sex sounds painful. I don't want it. Sex jokes? Funny. Rp sex? Yes please. Ff sex? Yess. BL Webtoons sex? 👀

I'm completely fine with being a hardcore dom as long as it's in rp and has nothing to do with me at all 😂 I'm a switch in rp if anyone was wondering lmao. But outside of that, don't talk to me about sex. I don't want to hear about your kinks, your turn ons, who you fucked, how it happened. Like I don't care and frankly it makes me uncomfortable!

If I'm in a relationship I don't want to be pressure into sexting or having actual sex. I don't want to be asked about my kinks, because I don't really have any. I'm not a kinky or horny person. I don't get horny often. And maybe that's why I can't keep a relationship :") I'm lame, I get it. My entire existence is a turn off, we know 😂 But I'm sorry that's just how I am! I'm, once again, a shy soft boy who's scared of loosing his V card!! I won't be able to get it back if I regret it! That's scary!

But more importantly I'm hella dysphoric!! I can't stand the sight of my naked body because I'm not in the body I want, so I definitely don't want anyone else to see it until I'm in the right body and I feel comfortable with it! :c

I just want to eventually, not any time soon because I'm kinda broken rn ngl,  find someone one day who will accept me for me and love me for me. And won't judge me or force to do things like that that will make me uncomfortable. I just want love, attention, and lots of cuddles!! 🥰🥰

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Soo.. That was a weird journey! Wonder if you made it this far and if you did.. Congrats! You've just successfully waisted your time! 😂

Well! That's it for now! As always, thank you so much for reading, it means the world to me! 🌎 I j-hope everyone is taking care of themselves! Especially now with these tough times! 👼🏼 WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS, PABO! 👐🏻 Anyways, j-hope everyone has a lovely day/night and I will see you all in the next one! Remember: you nice, keep going, and I purple you all! 💜✨