He was still here at the beach it's 9pm. He didn't move from the same spot.
A figure walked out from the bungalow behind, Sir your dinner is ready it's late do you want to come in back in now?
I'll be in shortly. He must have doze off ... he check into his phone again,
55 messages
3 from unknown and 1 from yibo
He starred at the messages, he starred at it and closed his eyes. Many were his friends, agents. All were asking if he was alright, many gave words of encouragement. He scrolled until he reaches the unknown sender
Message 1
"We can't help promote your show yet, too many negative posting on recent events, brand endorsers worried on reputation you'd bring"
Message 2
"Won't be able to act for you, company's bought over by another syndicate to dig more will, can't help, take care"
Message 3
"they've got some photo's and are directing resources to spin it out, won't help if officials get a wind"
He'd been overwhelmed with all the write-up. Last 2 months his phone had not stopped ringing, press chasing him for response, his fans were his strength but he didn't knew how to discern and push back on those that were hired to sow discord.
He'd been away from his studio since the lockdown his country imposed weeks back but now as they started to lift it and life is moving back to normal but not his. They had pushed him to sign more agreement if they were to support his come back, he'd had to agree to their method of cleaning up his image and match making him with another female star to eliminate the negative noises.
Yibo on the other hand had his plans going, he will move on as a professional sports athletic he will not be tied into the whole mess and be black mailed, he will preserve his right to pursue his dream and his live he will gain enough publicity, recognition and wealth to protect his love one.
"Wait for me Zhan" he resent the cathedral photo that Zhan forwarded to him when he was in Milan.
Zhan closed his eyes and reluctantly dragged himself back into the house. His servant left him a note next to his dinner, sir the keys are here, the cleaner agency picked us up as our shift finishes. Tomorrow's a Sunday hence unless you requested for maid and cleaning service - we won't be in.
Xiao Zhan was alone. He was desperate to escape the pressure. He directed his energy to all the positive work with helping the public through his own fund, he channeled his fans to help others while waiting for the storm to be over. In their eyes he were their pillar but in this room now he crumbled alone....he didn't want any of these to affect his parents which he loved and more so he didn't want Yibo to be affected.
He thought about the happy times he had with the untamed cast he wished he could lift himself back to that moment.
He took up a pen and a peace of paper and started listing down the names of those he wanted to dropped a note to them tonight. He smiled, they made his life wonderful and he'd live so long to feel blessed with their love, he really does, grateful for his 28 years of life even though it came to this.
He looked and scroll back at the photos of him and yibo and the last one being the cathedral that they promised to visit together. He smiled with a tear flowing down. He wiped it and went on to list down all the names, companies, sponsors and fan clubs whom had made him his success today.
Yibo, Mom,dad, Xnine, untamed family ... and the list went on. He had 25 notes to drop tonight all of them started with "Don't worry, I am fine...I'm taking the opportunity to recuperate, I'm good" and ended with "eat well, take care, don't worry about me"
This was Zhan, so broken yet still wanting to comfort others first. He didn't like others to worry about him.
He left Yibo's note to the last. He just could not.... they made a promise that they will move on so that none of them gets hurt in this whole incident. He started typing but before he could he fell back on his chair crying...he cried.
He couldn't stop thinking about the summer they had, their passionate kisses and how it all started, the moment he chose to gave himself and surrendered to him while struggling to anchor his heart and his mind, the yearning and longing for one another, he sobs as he thinks through it. He silent himself and continue typing
Yibo, thank you for being there always for me, for being first in so many aspect of my life, for giving me the security of our relationship that I can always depend on you, you kept finding ways to make it work, and your cold facade hiding the hurt that you are nursing from all the recent incident. I appreciate your decisiveness to fight through this your own way, but I don't want to trouble you any further. I know you will say there is no sorry and thank you between us like WWX and LWJ, but my silence these few weeks made me think a lot.
He paused and look at the agreement paper and started tearing up again
Yibo, I have never felt happier in my 28 years, our time spent together we may have encountered many challenges, I've never doubted your feelings for me when I feel you.
He paused again and look at the ring that he was still wearing, he recalled that moment when Yibo gave him that he didn't say why or what he just said "for you" there was an awkward silence before he pulled him in again and said "I love you, I'm sure I want to walk my life with you Zhan"
The ring that you gave me I will always cherish it.
He took the ring out placed in on the table and stared at it....
He thought about celebrity couples that he'd seen going through similar situations, it could be the likes of Ayunga and his partner or even at countries where inclusion and diversity of similar relationship has no prejudice or society judgment that they need to hide and run away from. The likes of Elton John and his partner with two boys.
Then he has to take calculated risk when he makes certain decisions now - his family and relatives, he has to be accountable for his actions - in a more conventional setting, being filial piety is expected and being accountable and responsible with grounded family up bringing values is highly expected.
They've been through the conversations and he'd convinced them he will be able to manage every difficulty that that he will he facing moving forward, can he still hold on to that steadfastly given the conditions that has struck him? He closed his eyes, searching his heart to give him that encouragement and strength to move...every step, every minute, every breath. He cannot deny this feeling is the exact feeling he felt when he was standing by the cliff at the untamed scene. The moment that he closed his eyes, he felt so at ease just letting go and falling into a world that erases the pain that encapsulates him at that moment in time. The parting hands when he held Yibo for the last separate moment before slipping it off and pushing him back to stay on the cliff but he letting go so others does not have to suffer ....
YOU ARE READING
Finding Strength - YiZhan
Fanfiction"I needed a break to think it through, I needed time to recollect my thoughts, I needed faith to keep me going, I needed strength to move on" Xiao Zhan whispered in his heart as he look far beyond the horizon, as the waves breaks into the shore, as...
