Feeling the warm breeze, I slowly closed my eyes. Lights from the posts beside the pier lit up the dark night. There were no stars and the moon was nowhere to be found. It's just the cold wind that brought life to the almost dying hue.
"I don't know where to start." Elon finally broke the deafening silence between us.
After his fight with his parents, inaya niya akong pumunta sa tabing dagat. He said he needed some fresh air and someone to talk to kaya hindi ko na nagawang tumanggi kahit pa gabing-gabi na.
I don't want him to feel alone. I don't want him to feel unwanted, again.
"I'll start it then?" I asked, not confident enough. I moved a little closer to him and tried to avert my gaze from his face because it's starting to distract me.
Seconds passed and he didn't replied so I took that as a chance to start asking him questions. Questions that I hope would clear his mind.
"Do you hate your parents? Especially your dad?" I don't want to judge him but from what I saw earlier, I have a feeling that he hates them, specifically Mayor Noel.
He shrugged his shoulder, "I don't know, Alliyah. I don't really know if I hate my parents, especially my Dad. Sa isip ko, galit ako sa kanila pero alam ko sa puso ko na hindi talaga para sa kanila ang galit na nararamdaman ko."
"I hate it, Alliyah. I hate the fact that they still haven't able to move on from my brother's death. It was a long time ago. It's almost ten years pero hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin sila nakakaalis sa lugar na pinag-iwanan sa kanila ng kapatid ko."
"You had a brother?" Gulat kong tanong. He never told me. Well, what do I expect? Kailan lang naman kami nagkakakilala at mukhang hanggang ngayon, kahit sa kaniya ay isa pa rin yong senstibong topic.
Tumango ito, "Mm...but as I said, he already died a long time ago. It was an accident. He tried to save someone but ended up sacrificing himself."
Ended up sacrificing himself?
I am not too kind to sacrfice myself for someone else. Now I finally understand why his parents still mourn for his brother's death. Even I can't sacrifice something for someone else's sake and happiness. I am too slefish to do that.
"It must be a very painful phase for them, Elon." Sana ay maintindihan niya. Hindi naman pare-pareho ang tao pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay. Some can handle pain easily. Some are weak at heart. We just have to understand and wait for them to forget.
"Painful?" Pagak siyang tumawa. "It was painful for me too, Alliyah! That's my brother who lost his life. My best friend and my only companion. But do I have a choice? No! I had to move on para maalalayan ko si Mommy dahil alam kong hindi niya kaya. My brother made me promise that if ever he dies, I should get over his death immediately dahil walang maiiwan para umalalay kay Mommy. And I did, Iyah. I did try to move on. I know I am not that succesful but I never expected Dad to be this weak, too..." and just like the fading wind, his voice grew softer.
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang itutugon ko. Nakakatakot magsalita dahil alam kong wala ako sa tamang posisyon para gawin yon. Maybe instead of helping him, I might make things worse.
"I know I am not that valuable. I know I am not that important. I am not some kind of treasure to be kept but I know I still have value. Yon lang naman ang gusto kong makita nila, Alliyah. I just want them to realize that even though I don't shine brightest, I still belong to their sky."
He left me in silence.
I don't know what to say anymore. Hearing those words from him, I can say that my pain is no less than a joke.
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Underneath the Fleeting Clouds (Completed)
RomanceTo live and let go... After losing almost everything that's important to her, Alliyah finally decided to escape from the shackles of her woeful past. She now wants to live a simple life. A life where pain is evitable. A life where she can soar highe...