🎶//Die for you. The Weeknd\\
I feel trapped, within myself. Bound by layers of insecurities. Self pity, self judgement, self loathing. My skin feels raw, years of being stripped of my skin and sense of self by the thoughts that sing me to sleep every night. The nightmares of how I truly see myself, a shell of what I want to be.
I look in the mirror, I don't see the reflection of a girl, but a monster of self hatred, light seeping from my pores, dripping from my eyes like the tears that fall to my pillow every night. I look into my eyes, into my mind and see nothing. It's a blackness, coating my thoughts, a smothering darkness that suffocates me with every heart beat. Not the comforting darkness that drifts you to sleep, not the soft dark midnight sky's that bring peace, but the harsh sharpness of black glass, cutting everything it touches.
I tell myself I bow to nothing, to no one, but it's a lie I tell myself. Because I do, I bow to the that blackness that sits in my soul, I cower before it, like a beggar, I beg for the agonising death I feel I deserve. I am broken, ripped raw. my heart, my mind has been laid bare for that reigning blackness to torture, to strip back even further till I am left with no other choice but to put an end to the never ending nothingness that I feel seeping into my bones.
YOU ARE READING
Thoughts of a stargazer
General FictionThe thoughts and confessions of a dreamer. Love, loss, self exploration. The path you walk on is entirely your own, whether it be pathed with gold or packed with dirt. Hers was pathed with yellowed pages of books, scattered with memories in the s...
