Entry #12050104001305

I'm Not Quite Sure How To 'Emotion'

Bright light radiating through the closed blinds was what finally awoke Jay. The light burned his eyes when he first opened them and he had to turn away until his eyes gradually adjusted. Once he could look around the room without his eyes hurting, Jay's eyes immediately found something much more interesting than the blinds.

Laying beside him in the exact same position as the night before was Tim. His eyes were closed and his breathing was relaxed, his right arm laying across his stomach and his left arm at his side where their fingers were still laced.

Their fingers were laced.

They were holding hands.

Jay wasn't sure what to do. He could continue to hold Tim's hand and have to explain to him when he woke up why they were holding hands; he could also try to extricate his hand from Tim's grip and hope the other didn't wake up. Then he wouldn't have to explain why they were sleeping in the same bed. Either way, with the bed pushed into the corner of the room, Jay knew he wouldn't be able get out of the bed without Tim waking up. Considering they only fit on it together when they were pressed up close, there was really no way for Jay to explain it without Tim being entirely suspicious.

Unable to decide on a course of action, Jay ended up just lying there. Wide awake, Jay stared at Tim's sleeping face and watched his chest rise and fall with every slow breath. Jay felt like he had been laying there for hours when Tim finally stirred. The fingers laced with his squeezed his hand gently and Tim's head sleepily lolled to the side. When his eyes finally cracked open, his hazy eyes tried to focus on Jay.

"Morning, Jaybird," he mumbled, his voice rough with sleep. Staring into his dark eyes, Jay remained silent. When had he been dubbed with an endearing nickname?

"Ya'alright?" Tim asked, his voice a little clearer than before as he slowly awoke. Jay coughed a little before nodding his head.

"Alright," Tim replied with a slight smile before yawning, his head turning to the other side. The two laid together silently for a long time with Jay wondering when Tim was going to notice their hands. Finally, Tim pushed himself up unsteadily with his free hand.

"What happened last night?" he asked, staring intently at Jay.

Sitting up as well, Jay fumbled for the right words. "Uhm, well, we, uh, we had visitors."

Tim groaned. "That's never a good thing."

Jay let out a breathless chuckle. "You're telling me."

"Wait, visitors? Plural?" Tim asked.

"Yeah. Well, kinda. You and someone else."

"What happened?" Tim curiously asked before something else occurred to him. "Are you alright? You're not hurt, are you?"

Both of Tim's hands reached for Jay's face, effectively pulling Jay's hand with his. Peering down, Tim saw their fingers laced together. He was silent as he stared at their hands and Jay's anxiety began to build. Would he get upset? Would he yell at him? The longer he was quiet, the more anxious Jay became. He was more than happy when Tim finally said something.

"I'm gonna guess that means you're fine."

Another moment of silence.

"What do you want for breakfast?"

"What, that's it?" Jay incredulously asked. He had expected more of a reaction than that.

"Uhm, yeah?" Tim replied as he eased his legs over the edge of the bed, letting out a small groan of pain before reaching for his pill bottle on the nightstand.

"That can't be all. Come on, say som-"

"Look, Jay," Tim cut him off. "I don't think I want to know, alright? Whatever's going on, just fill me in on the important stuff."