waste it on me - yoonmin ✔

it's confusing

» Treat me like a comma
And I'll take you to a new phrase
Yeah, come just eat me and throw me away
If I'm not your taste, babe, waste
Waste it on me «

♠ ♠ ♠

Yoongi are awake with his eyes closed when Jimin come back two hours after later. The younger is muttering to himself as he lightly walk to the bed, a soft sigh could be heard. Yoongi wonder what expression the younger is making. A frown? Maybe he's still upset. Yoongi was about to open his eyes when Jimin's palm placed on top of his forehead and he feel the left side of his face being squished with a soft cheek.

He heard Jimin sighed again, this time softer.

"Hyung, if you're being so complicated like before... I truly can't understand you. I just want you to talk to me. Now look at you, having fever when we're supposed to have fun holiday. Hmph, hyung you're so hard on yourself."

Yoongi swear he doesn't want to think about the tone Jimin is using but he can feel himself being embarrassed. His cheeks must be so warm and look funny with red spreading around it because Jimin giggled just now.

Jimin let out a deep breath.

"Hyung, wake up," whispered Jimin ever so softly, still having his cheek pressed on Yoongi's face. How could Yoongi wake up in this situation, first he hasn't apologize for his mean words from before and now Jimin is so, so close to him. Yoongi isn't prepared for both.

At last, Yoongi decided to open his eyes and hummed when Jimin smiles at him as soon as he see him. It feels weird, like the thing from before never happened and Jimin is just acting like the usual. He hugged the older tight, a long hug before he decided to let go and back off a little.

"I... Uh. Bought us some food. C-chicken porridge for you... You like chicken." Jimin scratches his non-itchy head, he cheeks blushing prettily as he tries avoiding an eye contact with Yoongi. He did his best but fail miserably because he want to look at the older. So bad. No exact reason, just want to look at the carefree face, who's looking back at him with a small smile.

"I like chicken." Yoongi didn't understand why the sentence can make him feels so embarrassed but when Jimin beamed at him and volunteered to feed him, Yoongi decided not to think too much into it. He's smiling when Jimin set the food on the nightstand and prepared to feed him, ah.. Yoongi is smiling. He wish it's the genuine one.

"Look at you, you can go out on yourself just fine. I'm not feeling too well right now, I think tonight you can go out alone if you feel bored. Really, no need to accompany me," Yoongi speak first over the comfortable silent. Yoongi didn't catch the frown on Jimin's face before the younger is quick to smile.

"No, I'll stay with you. It's boring going out alone, it's better to stay in and take care of you. Being alone suffocate me but when I'm with you it feels nice." Jimin shy away with his words while he feed a spoonful of porridge to Yoongi, making him missed the older's lips and the porridge fell onto Yoongi's shirt.

They're both stay silent as they watch the porridge fell.

"I'm so sorry, I'm soooorrry! I really am sorry, oh my God now it look like you puke on it oh my God I'm so sorry hyung!" Jimin started panicking and fumbled to his bag, searching for perhaps handkerchief or something that can wipe the stain.

Yoongi only smiles silently, shaking off his head as he grip onto the end of his shirt to strip off. It's when Jimin throw him a whole blanket and the younger is screeching, hiding himself with his tiny hands. Yoongi can only shrug.

"I'm telling you, I'm ready skinny. Don't expect some washboard abs underneath all this." Yoongi joked, smiling widely as he remove his shirt and was about to get up when Jimin pulls him to sit down.

"H-hey Jimin! Just now you didn't even want to see me stri—" Jimin's hands wonder around Yoongi's chest, fingers tracing the collarbone, the dry skin and lots of questionable bruises. Jimin's lips quivers as he look up to Yoongi.

"You're so frail, Yoongi," Jimin whispered in disbelief. Yoongi look so unhealthy, so fragile like if somebody was to punch him he'll die on the spot. Jimin carefully stare onto every part of Yoongi's skin and his heart shattered once again as he see the what seems like new bruises on Yoongi's shoulders. Yoongi is not on fever. There's something more to it.

"When we go back, please let me live with you hyung. I'll find myself a job and pay the rent I will do anything hyung, just let me live with you," Jimin sounded like he's on the verge
of losing his patience, like he's angry but not at Yoongi.

More like at himself. For failing to notice all of the subtle subconscious hint.

The older stays silent for awhile, clearing his throat before sofy asked, "Why?"

Immediately, Jimin answered him. "I'm going to take care of you!"

"You're not my wife, stop acting like one!" Yoongi raised his voice, and he can feel a headache coming in the back of his head. Yoongi really want the conversation to end, he's not gonna let his mind taking over and who knows what stupid shit he's gonna yells toward the younger. He doesn't want that.

Unexpectedly, Jimin yells at him.

"It's because I'm not your wife that I'm so fucking worried, because no one is looking after you because you always pretend like you're okay and all that shit! Fine! You– don't get married, I will be with you. I will become yours."

Jimin ends his speech with a heavy panting, heaved chest, his eyes brimming from angry tears. Still trying not to let them fall as he watch Yoongi's face changing from not interested into something more twisted– confused with what he just heard.

It's so confusing, all of this. What Jimin just said, it sounds like a hope, unfortunately Yoongi never believe in one. Shaking his head, Yoongi smiles toward Jimin.

"Please don't say it like that, you're making this whole situation awkward. You're making us awkward."

Yoongi cry himself in the bathroom when Jimin left the room with a loud sobbing, hands shaking when he point at Yoongi in disappointment.

This is it. The end of all of this fake happy life Yoongi thought he would be able to live in.

Hope? Love? They don't exist. Perhaps, wish never really come true. Nothing.