A Tale Of A Broken Heart

Happy New Year

Our family and a couple friends of ours had a tradition. We would gather every two year to celebrate the start of a new year together. And that year happened to be one of those. 

"Jade could you please pass the butter ?", one of our friend asked me very nicely.

We had dinner sitting around a big table. Everyone had a great time and was involved deeply in conversations. But my head was with Natalie. I was writing a text on my phone which I would send her when the clock strikes midnight. I made sure I put everything into the text I wanted to tell her. How much I appreciated her and how she was perfect the way she was. Retrospectively, the text was very corny. But that was the way I expressed myself.

"Everyone! Let's start the count down!"

When the clock finally struck midnight and everyone wished each other a happy new year, I hit the send button. And to my surprise I received a message at the exact same time. 

It was Natalie.

On the surface her text was very warm and encouraging. She told me how much she liked me and how much she appreciated me. But after that, came a part in which she told me why she would want to be with me. She listed many reasons why one would fall in love with me. But for me it was just another way to say that she didn't want to be with me. 

I broke.

Her text was the straw that broke the camels back and the frustration that had been pilling up for the past months overwhelmed me. 

"Are you OK Jade ? You don't look too happy", my mother noticed.

I didn't answer. I had to hold back my tears with all my might. 

I was trying so hard.

Although I was really giving it my all, my feelings did not get through to her. I was at my limit. I didn't know what else to do.

"Mom...can I go to Patrick's place ? He has invited me to his party.", I gathered all my energy and carefully asked my mother.

To my surprise she agreed and drove me to his place.

"Hey man, glad that you could make it!", Patrick welcomed me warmly.

Patrick was a very close friend of mine. He has asked me to attend his small house party which of course I had to decline due to our tradition. But he was happy to see me show up nonetheless.

Since the reason I went to his party in the first place was to intoxicate myself. It didn't take me very long to get drunk. After many shots of Vodka, I was off.

My memories of that night are very vague. But I still know that I cried for many hours and that I swore to myself to move on from Natalie.