A Tale Of A Broken Heart

Home Sweet Home

I was nervous. It was the first time I went to her place. Her apartment was so different than our house. It was cold and dark. But at the same time I sense a kind of tranquility I had never sensed before.

"Hello", a deep female voice greeted me when I entered the apartment.

It was her mother. I was pretty surprised by how unsimilar Natalie and her mother looked alike.

"Hi. My Name is Jade. Nice to meet you", I answered nervously and reached out my hand to shake hers.

She was obviously not pleased that I came by on a short notice. I couldn't blame her. They have just moved in and there were still paper boxes lying around. A useless guest was the last thing they needed at the time. But still, I couldn't shake off the feeling that there was a judging intention in her glance because of my ethnicity. As an Asian growing up in Europe I was already pretty used to it but that doesn't mean it doesn't sting every time.

"Come on in", Natalie winked me into her room.

Her room was nothing too special. She had a double bed, a desk, a wall of wardrobe and a couple shelves. It wasn't too much decorations around at that time. She just didn't had the time yet to decorate her room.

We sat down on her bed and started to talk. We talked about pretty much everything. We did this every time we met. Even when we got home we continued our conversation on the phone. We would talk for hours on end. And slowly but surely we grew closer to each other.

"What is your opinion on friends with benefits ?", she asked me one time over the phone and completely caught me by surprise.

My heart skipped a beat. Actually I already had a huge crush on her. And when she asked me that question out of the blue my thoughts went wild.

"Eh...well...I...you know...", I barely brought out some syllables. "I think it's cool."

"Yeah me too", she answered without me asking her.

I had never felt my heart better than at that moment. I had the feeling it could jump out of my chest at any time.

"Do you want to be my friend with benefit ?", I asked very slowly and carefully.

Dead silence.

"That sounds so wierd", she replied embarrassed after a long time.

I messed it up.