i woke up, seeing emma laying next to me. her eyes closed and her hair going everywhere. it was the cutest shit.
i felt my dream i had a while ago resurface. the one where the sun kissed her face. where she looked like an angel and she belonged right there. with me.
this felt right. this is where she was meant to be.
i move her legs from off of mine, hoping she doesn't wake up. she doesn't wake, just rolls away from me. at least now i can't disturb her. i knew the girl liked her sleep.
before, i wasn't able to sleep very well. ever since we were kids. i would lay awake, staring at the ceiling. i felt empty. i felt like i wasn't where i was supposed to be. i would think of nothing when i laid there. mostly nothing anyways.
sometimes i would think of emma. she had big blue eyes that drove me crazy. made me stay up all night, wondering if she would ever have the same feelings.
and here i am, laying next to the girl i love.
love.
was this love? is this what everyone wants? this feeling of such content and like you've found that little piece of you that's supposed to be there. it felt fucking good that's all i could say.
last night was the first time i've been able to sleep for more than 3 hours straight. its crazy that the one thing that could cure my insomnia was the girl i've been friends with for most my life.
i smile to myself looking over to her sleepy face. her breaths hitting my face, my hand pushing hair out of her face ever so gently.
she was even perfect when she slept. how is that fucking possible?
i must've woken her up because she slowly starts to blink open her eyes. i laugh under my breath, shaking her shoulder lightly.
"wake up em. we gotta get up before the day is already over."
"5 more minutes."
"fine. but once your time is up, i'm going to wake you up using a different approach." i grin even though she can't see it.
"mhm.." and she's out again.
5 minutes have gone by. well, actually 8 because i was feeling nice. but it's now time to wake her up again. my way.
i crawl over to her, putting my arms either side of her. she sleeps unknowingly. so fucking cute. then i lean down, kissing her on her forehead. she stirs a bit, but still doesn't get up. i kiss her in her nose. still nothing.
fine then.
i kiss her on the lips ever so slightly. not wanting her to bolt awake and knock me the fuck out. i see her smirk ever so slightly.
this bitch has been up, she was pretending to sleep. i grin, putting my hand on her jaw, turning her face to look at me. her eyes open, and she smiles.
"you sneaky motherfu-" i get cut off by her kissing me, pushing me over till she's in top. it was fucking hot in here.
"no cursing in this fucking house grant." she whispers, biting my ear. she then gets up, sauntering out of her room to go downstairs.
holy shit. the girl made me hard just by touching me. i was in so fucking deep.
~~~~~~~~~
i wasn't about to give ethan everything he wanted, what can i say, i was a tease. when i am around ethan i feel pretty. i feel confident. which may be bad because it's like i depend on him to make me feel good. it shouldn't be that way, but i don't want to be anywhere but with ethan.
i wanted coffee. right now. i have no personality till i get my coffee. sorry, i don't make the rules. before i can yell at ethan that i'm leaving to get coffee, he downstairs with his keys in hand. he grinned at me.
god this boy could read my thoughts.
"wanna get coffee?" he asks, still grinning at me, already knowing the answer was yes. he walks past me, touching my hip as he does.
it sends shivers down my spine. i snap out of the trance and follow close behind him. i guess we were both big teasers.
we got our coffee from philz and now we're just driving with no destination. it was relaxing and just felt good. we weren't taking, just enjoying each other's presence. his hand rested on my thigh, making my stomach have endless butterflies.
it was too perfect. something has to go wrong soon. this whole me and e situation was working out so well, we were both happy.
i don't know why it took me so long to see i wasn't with the right brother. ethan was the one. my heart swelled in my chest.
"hey e?"
"yeah emmo."
"are you happy...like being with me." i bite my lip, not looking at him.
"em, don't be like that. you know i've wanted to be with you since we were in fucking middle school." he says, patting my thigh.
i turn to him, raising my eyebrows, "i didn't know that e. if i would've known-"
"don't." he says looking at me for a second before looking back at the road. "the past is the past. let's just be here now. and i'm loving now." he smiles.
i smile too, my face turning pink. i loved this boy.
shit. love? is that what's happening right now. do i love this boy?
yes.
i love ethan dolan.
