What Are You So Scared Of?

six

I kept drinking and I started crying a bit.

"Mommy?"

I turned and saw Anne holding a stuffed bear. I didn't say anything, I just walked to my room with my whiskey. I cried again and Anne came and gave me a hug.

"Sorry I was mean to Austin, Mommy. I just want a Daddy."

"Anne, get ready. You're gonna go over Copeland's." I said trying not to slur.

"Ok!'

She ran to her room and I called Kellin.

"Hey dude!"

"Can you come and get Anne?"

"Yeah. Are you ok?"

"No. Just come get her please."

"Alright."

I sat up and grabbed my old journal. I looked in it and decided to write a song.

"Mommy! Someone's at the door!"

I got up and walked to the door. Kellin was there and he walked in.

"You look like hell."

"You look hot."

"Thanks."

I rolled my eyes and laid on the couch. "Why do you look like you were drinking?"

"That's cause I was."

"What?"

"Whiskey."

"Why?"

"Cause I freaking can!" I snapped.

He held his hands up and Anne skipped in. "Ready!" She announced.

I gave her a hug and they left. When they left, I walked over to my stereo and started playing some music really loud. No Doubt was playing and I smiled weakly. Happy Now started playing and I danced to it. I felt happy that the one band that I grew up to is playing because they're my go to band. It ended and Bathwater started playing. I changed the song instantly because it reminded me too much of Brendon.

*Flashback*

"Hey beautiful." Brendon said putting his hands on my waist.

"Hey you." I replied smiling.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked.

I turned around and said, "Dancing."

"To what?" He asked.

Just then, Bathwater came on and I started swaying my hips. I walked to him and pushed him on the couch and started singing.

"You and your museum of lovers The precious collection you've housed in your covers My simpleness threatened by my own admission

And the bags are much too heavy In my insecure condition My pregnant mind is fat full with envy again

But I still love to wash in your old bathwater Love to think that you couldn't love another I can't help it...you're my kind of man

Wanted and adored by attractive women Bountiful selection at your discretion I know I'm diving into my own destruction

So why do we choose the boys that are naughty? I don't fit in so why do you want me? And I know I can't tame you...but I just keep trying

'Cause I love to wash in your old bathwater Love to think that you couldn't love another I'm on your list with all your other women But I still love to wash in your old bathwater You make me feel like I couldn't love another I can't help it...you're my kind of man