The Perfect Roommate (Troyler AU)

A New Roommate

Troye's POV:

I feel sick. Like that feeling you get when you know you've fucked up. You know, the sinking in the pit of your stomach. That's exactly how I feel right now.

I know that technically I haven't done anything wrong, but guilt is still eating away at me. The thing is, I wanted to kiss Tyler. At first I had no intention of wanting to kiss. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. However, when he cupped my face in his soft hands so tenderly and assured me that there was nothing to be nervous about, that changed. The fact that he was being caring to someone he'd just met lured me into wanting to kiss him.

I don't think Rider has ever done that. I try to recall but can't come up with any situation in which Rider had shown such a sweet gesture. That realization left me disappointed for some reason.

Why am I even comparing my boyfriend to some stranger anyway? There are so many other great qualities about Rider that outweigh the fact that he hasn't done some stupid little thing. Maybe I just missed being around him. That might explain why a simple caring gesture would appeal to me. I'm suffering from boyfriend withdrawal that's. That's nothing to be worried about.

So why do I still feel guilty?

I start to get slightly lightheaded and decide going outside to get fresh air would be the best thing for me to do. The change of atmosphere would help clear my head.

Luckily there's a patio attached to the room I ran into after I abandoned Tyler. Now I won't have the chance of running into him. That would most definitely lead to an awkward confrontation.

Oh God, how can I even face him now? I just ditched him and ran off like a loser. Who does that? I really want to be friends with him too, but I'm not so sure that's going to happen now. Maybe I should just go talk to him. It's the reasonable thing to do. Probably better than hiding away in some frat boy's room.

The more I think about the idea, the more it sounds like the right thing to do.

I walk over to the door then place my hand on the knob and take a deep breath. I am about to twist it to open the door when someone beats me to it. They push the door open causing me to fall back. I sigh in relief when I manage to prevent myself from falling on my ass.

I peek around the door to see who the intruder is. I was surprised to come face to face with Caspar. "Caspar?"

"Troye? Dude we've been looking for you. Someone said you came I here. Where have you been all night?"

"I, um, I met some new people and was hanging out with them." I shift uncomfortably at having been reminded again of the situation.

"Why are you up here then and not having fun with them?"0

"Well..." I explain everything to Caspar starting with running into Tyler and ending with abandoning him when we were about to kiss for a stupid game.

"That's rough. You just ran off?"

I run my hand through my hair and sigh, "Yeah, pretty much... I was just on my way to go apologize, if you don't mind."

"Dude, he left already," Caspar said giving me a sympathetic look.

Just wonderful. Now I'm not even going to have the chance to apologize to him. We never got to exchange numbers either, so it's not like I can text or call him. I had a good feeling that we could have been good friends too. Guess that's out of the question now. I sigh, "Can we just leave now? My mood is kind of ruined."

"Yeah sure, I was planning on leaving soon anyway," he pats my shoulder as I walk by in what I assume was an attempt to comfort me. Unfortunately, it isn't enough to make me feel better about the situation. I just want to go to bed and forget this ever happened.