Darkness and Hope

Chapter 10

After the show I just came back to the hotel I wanted to relax and be alone. I took a shower and put on some sweaters, I ordered some food and crashed on the couch eating and watching TV. I felt fine and relaxed and soon the events began to fade away. Solitude had an incredible healing power over me. I heard a knock on my door, I opened it to find Lars.

"Hi." I said surprised.

"Can I come in?" He asked me. I strayed a bit to give him space to come inside my suite. Lars sat on the couch while I closed the door shut and then I joined him.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" I asked him.

"What do you have in your fridge?"

"I don't know." I got up and went for it. "Well, we have beer, water and some soda." I informed.

"Beer is fine." He said. I took two bottles. One for him and another one for me. I handed him his and then sat in front of him.

"I came to see how you're doing." He said. I looked into his eyes and nodded.

"I am fine now." I said. "You know the truth don't you?" I asked him. I was quite sure what the answer would be though.

"Yes." He simply said.

"And Connie?" He nodded again. "Christ! Soon everyone will know!"

"Don't worry, Connie is a friend of yours she won't tell, and your secret is also safe with me." He assured me. "You two need to learn how to live with it."

"I can live with it. It's past on my head and I am willing to make things right you know but he doesn't let me. He picks up on me all the time and I don't have to shut my mouth when he does it. Today he was extremely rude."

"I talked to him but he's stubborn as hell as you already might have noticed. Just try to be patient, he'll get better. I know he will."

"You came here to defend him?" I asked.

"No...no...I came here..." He stopped thinking of the words. "Maybe I am defending him after all." He said smiling.

"It's ok, you are his friend, so I understand."

"It doesn't mean I am on his side when he pulls all this shit out. I want you to know that you can count on me." I felt like hugging him. It was important to me that I was connecting with someone on that band and having Lars's support felt incredibly good. "Now I also came here to ask you to join us downstairs at the bar." I shook my head. "Come on, even your friend Katy is down there. He's there too, I have to be honest."

"No way!! I've had my Hetfield dose for today. If I go there he's gonna say I went there to go after him, or he pulls something out. No." I said firmly.

"Come on! You have to stand up to him." Lars was smart. "You can't show him fear or he'll eat you alive." I smiled; he was right.

"Give me just a few minutes to change." Lars nodded and I went to my room. I picked up some black jeans and a white tank top. I was about to leave when I looked at my pale face in the mirror, so I decided to put on some makeup to look better and then I ended my simple outfit with black high heel sandals. James was quietly sat on the table talking with Kirk, his eyes immediately dropped on me when I got in there with Lars, this time I was satisfied he didn't look at me with hate. He looked normally.

I sat with Lani, Connie and Katy on another table. The bar was opened just for us, the crew, band members and their families. Phil joined us as soon as he saw me. I didn't have a problem with that because I knew there was nothing behind his sympathy for me, it was pure friendship that was building up between us, but James glanced at him seriously when he saw him coming. I ignored his killing look, that was the best thing for me to do. Trying not to care with his stuff and live my life the way I wanted and be surrounded by the people I wanted. Lars instructed the bar's band to play some songs and a small and private party took place there.