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•••
"i'll be back ma." i said, tying up my shoes before grabbing my bandana.
"where you going sweetie?"
"i don't know, whatever my bike takes me."
she stopped chopping up from fruit into silence as she wiped her hands. i looked up to her, seeing her worried about me. i sighed, putting my ring on.
"leland, you know you can talk to me about anything right? because of the looks of it, you got something on your mind hun." she said, watching as i get myself together.
yeah, nayvadius.
"no i'm fine. i just need some fresh air, that's all." i gave her a kiss on the cheek, walking out the door.
"okay, be safe please."
"i will ma." i smiled, shutting the door to the outside world.
i quickly went around the railing, unlocking my clean, shiny and beautiful bike to ride. i hopped on and started pedaling down the street, feeling the wind blows on me. i put my headphones in, having my music in the moment, always have to do that. it's just my thing.
i forgot to introduce myself. hey, the names leland wayne and i live in atlanta. my life includes of drama, music, love and heartbreaks. plus, i'm lowkey bitchy.
a lot? yeah, i know and that's the fuck you gonna get out of me.
i wasn't like this, having choice between something i want and really don't want (needing to be out the fucking picture). until one day, i found having interest with a person named nayvadius but come to find out that he doesn't wanna leave his girlfriend.
we met at a concert when we was both 16, having fun that night. we started becoming friends in that matter, having interest with a lot of stuff. music, art, clothing, etc. the more we hung out, the more we got closer. sometimes we gotten sexual but we kept it cool though.
i felt...safe with him when he's around. i actually felt something inside but i continued to ignore for weeks on end until i got to realize that i'm in love with him. i thought i was going crazy and overthinking shit but nah, i actually caught feelings for him. but he had a girlfriend though.
her name was diamond, she was sweet and nice, but too fucking nice for me though. she popped up on us when we were only hanging out or we was in the heat of the moment. she always there. she took advantage of that shit, i didn't like that.
i never told him but he seen something that has something to do with her. one time he kissed me, i never saw it coming. i think he only did it because he saw the jealousy in me. then, we started moving fast...fast than i expected. it was kinda crazy for me.
we had sex together, told each other feelings, kissed in public. you know, typical relationship shit. but we never put a title on it, never spoken about it either.
but then, one day, that day changed for me. he told me right in my face, we gotta stop. you know why?
i don't wanna leave my girlfriend. and i'm like what the fuck.
all this i did with you, and you wanna end it after 6 months? it tore me up inside, knowing that all this shit we did, it's done. he just don't wanna come out the closet. i felt my heart crack when he said that.
i cried for days on end, not letting nobody come in my room at all. yeah, welcome to my fucking world.
i stopped on ocean drive, seeing my favorite ice cream is still open. i sighed happily, i really wanted some of their ice cream for the longest. when the light turned green again, i pedal slowly, making a long right turn to go down the street.
me riding through the sun and the people who were on the street was actually relaxing for me, being calm. as i stopped in front of the shop and turned off my music, i heard a familiar voice.
i think i'm going crazy. i heard it more closely, yeah i know who's voice. i'm not going crazy then huh. i opened the big metal door, letting the bell ring.
"hi welcome to daisy's fantastic ice cream shop, what would you like to have?" i pulled out my headphones.
"hi, i would like to have cookie dough." i requested, pulling out my 5 dollar bill.
"that would be 2.81."
i nodded, handing her the money. after she give me my change and watched her scoop the ice cream, i went back where i came from.
when as i was walking, i saw someone with bleached blonde hair. i stopped in my tracks, i thought i wouldn't see him anytime soon. he was sitting with his girlfriend who giggling and laughing.
fucking ew.
i tried to hid my face, but it was late since he looked up, dead in my face. his happiness decreased and his girlfriend saw.
it kinda hurt me as i seen him here. i wish i could move faster and somewhere to get away from him. he just bring fucking bad memories. he hurt me.
i tried to ignore his presence as i grabbed my bike. i lowkey wanted him dead, all the shit he did to me. fucking talking about he don't his friends look at him as a disgrace, and 'oH i LikE mY gIrLfRiEnd;' 'I cAn't HuRt hEr'
whatever nigga.
i just want him fucking gone or somebody teach him a lesson. that's all.
i hopped on my bike, riding to the park.
•••
"hey ma, what you cook?" i kissed on the cheek, sitting in her office.
her office was in the basement she was tired of hearing my music in the dining room.
"boy you smell like outside." i laughed, sitting on our old stool.
"you didn't answer my question ma." i crossed my arms.
"leland, nothing. i only cut up the fruit. so that's dinner." i let my mouth gaped open, "or you could eat the leftover mac n' cheese."
"i'll eat fruit instead. i'm going to take a shower ma." i said, walking up the stairs.
"okay sweetie, go do that. you lowkey smell like ass." i rolled my eyes for the third time, continuing my way to the bathroom.
