Cigarettes and Alcohol

The Morning After

I woke up hacking my lungs out. My mouth and throat were disgustingly dry and I reached out, squinting my eyes and trying to hide from the bright light whilst searching for a glass of water.

On the surface beside me I felt a pair of sunglasses and pulled them on, groaning.

Wherever the hell this light's coming from, it seems dead set on making me suffer.

Once the glasses were protecting my eyes, I was able to look around with some semblance of clarity.

Christ my head hurts.

While the problem of sight was resolved, my throat still felt like a desert.

I looked around, somewhat slowly placing my surroundings together.

I'm in a bath.

Okay.

I pulled the shower curtain covering it to the side and found myself in a small bathroom.

That explains why I'm in a bath.

I looked down and found that I was in my bra and someone had drawn dicks all over my torso, with other lewd images and words scattered on my arms.

Why am I not surprised?

When I attempted to pull myself I heard a click when my hand hit the rim of the tub. I looked down at my left hand and found a ring. On my ring finger.

Oh Christ. What happened last night.

When I looked at my right I found the one and only Liam Gallagher with his head resting on the wall and the rest of his body on the floor in what looked like an extremely uncomfortable position, his shirt thrown against the sink.

He still seemed thoroughly passed out so I moved him into a straighter position and put a towel under his head for a pillow.

I pulled his shirt over myself to help me have some form of dignity and drank from the tap. 

Tap water had never tasted so good.

I drank for what I deemed necessary before hunting for a kettle, tea always helped me with a hangover and this one definitely needed to be gone as soon as possible.

I used the trim of the walls to help me balance as I walked down this mystery corridor to what I hoped was a kitchen.

When I reached the end of the hall I found an open plan room with a fridge, microwave and counter on the far corner and a couple of sofas on my right.

There was a broken window and what appeared to be a stand where the TV in this room used to be.

For the second time this morning, I wondered what in God's name happened last night.

There were bottles scattered across the sofas and coffee table, along miscellaneous powders strewn across the table. There were clothes littered across the floor and furniture, as well as two bodies that resembled thoroughly wiped out Kurt Cobain and Noel Gallagher hugging and leaning against the wall, fast asleep.

Bless them. I hope I've created some lifelong friends there.

I hauled myself over to the kitchen and found an electric kettle that I promptly filled with water. I rummaged through the cupboards 'till I found some teabags and mugs. I'm glad whatever hotel this is has some teabags stocked, what would I do without the British?

Now that I faced the back of one of the sofas I spotted another sleeping Oasis member, Bonehead. He was hugging a cushion.

I shook my head in disbelief and took the time the kettle was boiling to reflect and piece together the night before.