Cigarettes and Alcohol

L.A Woman

Kurt wanted to spend some time alone with his daughter so Dave and I left and headed to the kitchen. I still wanted my tea.

"What's your favourite Doors album?" He asked as we made our way downstairs.

"Self titled all the way for me."

"Ah, I'm and L.A. Woman man myself."

"Fair play. That's probably a close second for me." I responded.

I went about making my tea and Dave sat at the table. I put the kettle on when Dave started speaking.

"Effy, I'm still not sure I trust you a hundred percent, but I have to say, you're better around Kurt than Courtney by a long shot." Ah, that's where this is going. I turned around when he said that.

"She seemed to want to make anyone who tried to help Kurt's life a living hell. She couldn't stand me. And if she hated you as much as you said before, then that must be a signal that you're good for him." He continued while I nodded.

"The other day, when we were playing cards, you seemed like an actual person. Unlike his wife, I have to say. She was the most disingenuous person I've ever met. She's an absolute bloodsucker and she hated me so much because I didn't hide my distain for her." I nodded again, allowing him to finish.

"I just want to say, while I don't trust his judgement all the time," implying Kurt's choice of wife,

"You seem like a good person who has your best intentions for him at heart." I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"So that's why I was off with you the other day. You appeared out of nowhere and could have been some groupie worming your way into his life like her."

"I get that. I get it totally, I know it must seem insanely suspicious. I really did appear out of nowhere. I wouldn't trust me either," I let out a nervous laugh, "But I swear to you, I'm only here to try and help, and be a good friend. I was blown away by the kindness he showed to me, a stranger, so all I want to do is try and return that and help him. I'm only here thanks to him,  and I want to return the favour. That's all."

I could see his last air of mistrust leave him. He nodded in acceptance.

"Could I grab some coffee?" Wow, that was a change in tone. I got out one of the new mugs Kurt and I had bought, it had a cat on it that was dressed like Kurt in the Smells Like Teen Spirit video. Dave looked at it and laughed.

"Wow, interesting mugs? You definitely are a step up from Courtney."

"Thanks, I picked it myself." I responded, grinning. It was one of my favourite mugs.

--

Kurt appeared in the kitchen after ten more minutes of Dave and I talking about music.

"Where's Pat?" Kurt asked.

"Oh, I sent him home after realising he knew absolutely nothing about taking care of kids. He was more than useless." Dave explained jokingly.

Kurt laughed and nodded, grabbing his now near cold tea.

"So how was England?" Dave questioned the both of us.

Kurt and I looked at each other and grinned.

"There's this new indie band that Eff took me to and, well, they're gonna kick grunge off the charts as soon as they release their first single. We'll be old news before you know it Dave." Kurt answered.

"They're the greatest band on the planet and nobody knows it yet other than themselves." I added, smiling.

"Well, that's quite the bold statement to make." Dave replied, raising his eyebrows.

"You'll have to wait and see them yourself, they'll be in the US in August." I responded.

"It's a shame we cancelled the rest of the tour, We'd be in England in, oh, two days?." Dave said.

I perked up at this.

"There's no way to get back on tour?"

"Nah, after it's been cancelled for this long there's no way we'd be able to pick it back up." He responded, so I asked,

"Where would you be today if you hadn't cancelled?"

"Belgium, or the Netherlands or somewhere like that?" Kurt added, somewhat sadly.

"Aw, shame. But cancelling was needed, wasn't it?" I looked at Kurt this time, a quiet concern in my eyes.

Before Kurt could get too distraught and upset, Dave cut in.

"Yeah, it was. We were all feeling pretty exhausted honestly. We'd been on tour near nonstop for three years or so."

It seems nobody wanted to bring up Kurt's overdose as there was a pause in conversation. Kurt avoided eye contact. He shrugged.

"It was an accident, y'know? I didn't plan on being hospitalised. I didn't plan on nearly killing myself. I was drunk and took too many pills. I honestly didn't plan on it. Courtney just passed me the bottle for my headache."

This knowledge made me really uncomfortable. This was his supposed first suicide attempt before succeeding on April fifth. I reached out to hold his hand under the countertop and he took it, his grip loose.

"We know, Kurt." I said softly.

We all sat in silence, drinking our tea and pretending not to notice the thick tension in the air. I squeezed his hang softly and he held it tight. I caught his eye and tried to convey as much compassion and care for him as I could. He returned it, yet with a far off look in his eyes, before taking a sip of his now cold tea.

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Sorry for the short chapter, gonna try and continue writing again in the next couple days :) Hope you enjoyed xxx