Good Girl- Gone Bad

Long live the Queen.

I don't have the worst life. I would never imply it. But I definitely don't have the best life. Not by a long shot.

But being mommy's little angel? I'd laugh in the face of anyone who dares to make that statement.

Who am I to declare it untrue? With no real memories to support that claim, I'd have to sit neutral in the pew of jurors. While I internally raised hell and shouted how sure I was that she hated me.

Again, keep in mind that I may be overdramatic and that has been perfected since I joined the theater arts department.

To say that my mother hates me will be a step too far. Well, maybe. Then again, maybe not.

But what kind of mother always singled out their child at any given moment?

Like at parent teacher meetings when my mother meets my teachers and they say something along the lines of 'she is very smart but easily distracted', or 'she is a good pupil but if she pushed herself a little harder she be at the top of the class', or 'she is a great student but every time you mention advancement she willfully fails the next test and hinders her talent.'

My mom's response? "Let her continue to play with her education. She will end up working on the garbage truck while all of her friends laugh at her", and "Dont you see? She's sitting on her brain! It's under her skirt!"

Sitting on my brain. That's what I've been teased about many times after that encounter. Exhibit A to Z of why my father is the one who usually goes to my parent-teacher meetings.

My mother noticed my body before I did but at first she didn't mind me in khakis and polo's or T-shirts and long skirts (weird combination I know). But when she started complaining about my hair and my skin and my body odor I couldn't understand who she wanted me to be.

Then she says, "You should be more like a girl!"

And so I did.

It's not like I wore tube tops and shorts but I definitely had a slight change in wardrobe.... And deodorant.

She soon went from saying, "you look like a girl", to "you look like people", to "who are you dressing up for?" To accusing me of "looking for boys."

So much for 'children obey your parents in the name of the Lord for this is the first commandment with promise.'

This woman didn't know what she wanted.

I ignored those statements most of the time or more like internally rolled my eyes until they fell out of my head, around the world and came back. Because if I made the mistake and did that to her face again I would receive a slap out of this world and my eyes might've stuck that way.

But my face has a mind of its own, so it would always show it's distaste in her comments and have her in my face and torturing my flesh until I "fixed my face".

I know some of you may say 'oh that's abuse...'

But it's tough love, and it's better to not spare the rod and spoil the child. At least that's what I learned. I didn't get to go to many of my friends birthday parties, or picnics, or beach gatherings, or trips to neighboring islands, or trips with school clubs I was a member of.

Why? Because the queen said so, of course. And if your answers to
"why?"
"with who?"
" when?"
" for what?"
"where?"
" who will all be..?"
"How are you...?"
And "what will you...?"
Are not royalty met to her expectations you've wasted her time.

And yours.

Or she would hit you with the simple 'ask your father' phrase and that's a dead case.

But she did let me go to church camp... Once. Of course with the persuasion of the youth leader and camp director.

Church camp was in Antigua... FREEDOM!!!

I couldn't wait to go to IBYC. I went and ate unseasoned food, slept in classrooms and heard frogs every night surrounding the camp. But it couldn't have been a better getaway.

Yes, I was surrounded by the opposite sex and other youths from other neighboring islands but I was living a dream and none of them mattered.

Unfortunately, that sweet dream turned into a beautiful nightmare when I got back to Anguilla.

It wasn't because of the short dress I came back wearing. It wasn't because I was let on the trip. It was because I had reached back home and my mother blatantly accused me of fooling around at the church camp with the boys... Even though she was not there.

She came to such a conclusion not because I had forgotten to call her when I arrived, or even during my trip; but because she couldn't contact even the camp director due to the unexpected poor signal in the area.

Yes. She's a 'concerned' parent.

But a concerned parent could express their concern and anger without such accusations. For Christ's sake I was only 16 at the time and was not interested in any boys. Well... Other than the boy on the plane but she doesn't need to know about him.

Ever since then I've only went to church functions and events... On the island only.

No complaints here.

She also lets me go to school sports events as long as I left at a certain time and it came back exactly as I left, and with my sisters and or my cousins with me to keep me company.

Not just to keep them occupied. But so that she could keep me occupied while she unbeknownst to me had people watching from the sidelines to report to her so that I would, as she put it, keep my head on.

Cue internal eye roll.

And in my five years of high school including two years of six form she never let me cheerlead for a sports day; not once. As much as I begged her, she'd always end up with a simple... "Ask your father."

But guess what? Tatiana!? She cheerleaded.

Yep! Gasp all you want. And guess what... For three years! Three years is better than none.

What I wouldn't give to be out there chanting and shaking a pom-pom.

Maybe...

it's because my mother didn't think I had the skill, or I was too curvy or she didn't want me to have all the attention my younger, skinny, long legged sister had.

Or maybe... She just didn't like me.

But maybe she did love me. In her own special way. Maybe, she preferred my sister and that was OK.

I'll be grateful for the brief piano lessons, even though I wanted to dance, and the times I was forced to work in her salon and brought out my hidden talents for Hair despite hindering my social life with my friends.

She also introduced me to sports like table tennis, soccer, and taekwondo.

Needless to say my childhood wasn't that bad. So yes, maybe she does still love me and has never stopped. Maybe she doesn't know how to show it, or has a hard time doing so.

Maybe she enjoys making my life a living hell.

Or maybe... Everyone's right and she's just hard on me because I remind her too much of her old self, and we don't get along well because we are too much alike.

Who knows? I definitely don't.

But she's the queen. And she is my mother. And despite everything I love her still.

Viva la queen!

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Hey guys thanks for completing another chapter of 'Good Girl GONE BAD' and I hope you enjoyed it and you add it to your library to enjoy more exciting chapters.
Don't forget to comment, vote and follow me. Also, check out my next book that's focused mainly on steamy scenes and erotica...
~The Erotic Stories of Jeneé!!!
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