Timothee.

chapter fifteen. adele.

I was embarrassed. I had to tell him sooner or later, and even though I was still stuck on the fact that he lied to me I need to get my mind away from all of the fucked up shit that was happening to me.
"Okay, I'll tell what I remember."

It was blurry, there was a dreamy haze on top of everything and I was never a lucid dreamer. My subconscious had taken over and led me through the entire thing. It was in the middle of the forest. Lightning bugs made their appearance, lighting the way for me as I walked. Scared, but at the same time I was anticipating something. There he was, sitting there. Crying for some reason. He told me that he wanted to be a lightning bug, but he wasn't happy enough. The vines from the surrounding trees had taken hold of him completely. They were tightly wound around his body.
There were gaps in between what happened from there and to the end. I remember kissing him and feeling my stomach wrench, and I remember a jolt of electricity running up and down my spine when I thought I felt his hands around my thighs. And when his hands moved up was when I jolted awake.

After I told him, he was silent. His cheeks were flushed as he stared into the distance. You could practically see the hearts in his eyes. I looked away too, thinking about what could've happened if I stayed asleep. I thought about what his hands could do if they kept going up, what he would've looked like if my brain let me see the rest of him. What would he have thought of me if he saw me naked? What if that was what he was thinking about?

I finished my cocktail, waiting for him to say something. Slowly his head turned to look at me, and when his hand came up to cup my cheek I thought I would melt. I thought I died. My heart instantly sped up, my legs felt like spaghetti. My hands were shaking. I definitely broke a sweat. He was just staring into my eyes, and then he started moving closer. At first he hesitated. He was so close to my mouth I could smell the wine on his breath and I could hear him breathing. Before I knew it his lips were pressed against mine.

I won't say there were fireworks, because that's not how it works. But there were butterflies, intense, aggressive butterflies flapping around in my stomach. Soon after his lips were pressed against mine we were moving faster, and I pulled away fast at a lost for words. I couldn't look at him, I just looked away and out of the window for a moment catching my breath. When I looked back he was still in the same position as he was before, just with a smile on his face. "It was just like I imagined it would be..." He whispered, and leaned in to kiss me some more. This time he opened my mouth with his, but I pulled away again just in time. My face was so hot and I couldn't keep myself together. Timothée found a way to look so calm, he was sitting halfway up but his body was almost sprawled across the bed.
"It's okay... I won't force you," He spoke trying to catch his breath, "It's just hard for me to keep my hands off of you." And with that? I was spiraling down a weird path in my brain. A path that nobody has ever brought me down besides myself.

I guess you could say I wanted to jump on top of him and rip our clothes off like we were animals, but I was too shy to do it. And to be honest? We hadn't known each other for that long. I bit down on the inside of my cheek staying fairly silent while he checked my body language. His bottom lip was tucked in between his teeth and he just looked. The way he looked at me made me feel like I needed to go home and read my Bible, honestly. "I'm just going to use the bathroom really quick," I mumbled and rushed into the bathroom. I locked the door and took a good look at myself in the mirror.

My cheeks, though I had a dark complexion, were bright red. I looked like I was about to vomit. How the fuck did the girls in the movies look so sexy? I looked like I could be sick any second. I quickly splashed water on my face, and I'd be damned if i didn't put some water in my hair and fixed it into a bun. I wasn't ready tonight. Would I ever be ready? I flushed the toilet, to pretend I had actually been using the bathroom and I washed my hands.
When I walked out of the bathroom he was gone, but I heard some stuff going on in the kitchen.

I made my way into the kitchen, breathing hard and knowing I wouldn't be able to look at him the same way. He stood there, almost winded when he saw me again and we just stared at each other. His curls had fallen into his face, and his lips were bright red.

"Want another drink?"