A Way Home

It Was Normal

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"You're up?" Rubbing her eyes Namjoo staggered out of the bedroom. Surprised she'd found an empty bedside that morning. Sehun was frying eggs in the kitchen. The smell of grease had woken her. Now it was the sound of popping oil that really got her attention.

"I decided I better do something instead of laying in bed wide awake," Sehun said. "You slept well."

"Yea," she lightheartedly said, "I slept like a baby." Covering her yawn, she turned around, "Let me wash up and I'll help you."

That morning was the most regular of mornings she spent with him. Peeking at him as she broke the yolk on her egg and happily laughing when their eyes crossed. In that hour Sehun seemed the happy man he used to be. Eclectic in her presence, around her, with her.

Like the beginning.

But he never kissed her.

"I'll be back later," she pecked his cheek at the doorway. "Is there anything you want on the way back?"

"No, I'm good. You have a lot of food here." Sehun replied.

"Not that much," she said. "Really nothing?"

"No. Don't worry about me."

"Ok then." Twisting the knob, she pulled the door open. Gazed back once at Sehun standing tall on the other side of the doorway. Always so big and filling up the entire space. Namjoo gave a smile then closed the door and went to work.

Those days it felt like that was all she did, living her life. Enjoying the hours at work, designing, interacting with the outside. She made new friends with the new hires and they shared casual cups of coffee during break. She was learning and making mistakes at work, but everyone was kind and forgiving. Namjoo felt like she was growing in heights she couldn't see at her forefront. But it was obvious she was going somewhere at last. Life was normal in her eyesight.

There was a boyfriend at home. She slept, ate, and woke up with him. How lucky you are. You must be so loved they teased her. Namjoo giggled and agreed.

Those were the days.

On the way home she picked up an animated movie intending to keep Sehun's spirits up. He was cooped up at home and she often felt guilty over returning home late. It would be nighttime by the time they went out on a nice date to the movies, the park, on a short trip somewhere.

Excitedly throwing a bag of popcorn into the microwave she filled up cups with soda and joined Sehun on her couch.

"You didn't start it yet without me, right?" Namjoo jumped onto the cushion beside him. Pulling her knees up she hugged the bag of freshly popped popcorn as she leaned against his arm.

"I didn't." Sehun wagged the remote in front of her face. "Are you ready now?"

"Yea, yea. Play it."

Midway through the movie the bag of popcorn was empty. She'd finished her entire glass of soda. Sehun's was still halfway. Her heart settled when she heard him laugh for the first time. Having to see for herself the way the light pulled the corners of his glinting eyes. The distinct curve of his lips shying upwards.

Dropping her head on his shoulder, Namjoo glued her eyes to the TV. Paying detailed attention to the family on the screen. "Should we come up with names for our future kids?"

The slight budge of Sehun's head brushed his face against her hair. "I don't want children."

Mentally stepping back Namjoo feared she'd stepped a line into his discomfort zone.