There are tears in my eyes
as I sit here trying
to force words through my hands
in a vain attempt at poetry
to calm my mind
and my racing heart
to try to escape
for a while
from reality
to distract myself from distractedness news, life, noise.
I'm just letting go
my right hand flying, pausing
flying, pausing
over again
with single-worded ideas
floating around in my head
so close I can almost see
scenes of romance
of tragedy
of silence
of grief
of comfort
bathed in sun or shadow.
And music
never forget the music.
All the lyrics of the last few years
the melodies that bring me back
to four years ago
insecure and scared
three years ago
wondering, not knowing
that two years is so short
two years ago
when music was one of few lights
when Sevens was playing on loop
one year ago
grade twelve, when everything changed
the Raging River's crescendo
sending shivers down my spine
Happy memorized
the Silver Sceptre worn of its magic
the First Light still beautiful,
the Lord of The Dance nearly mastered
still exhilarating
and simultaneously so very sad.
I think back on those years
and I know
for better and worse
they've formed me
twisted me
wrung me out
to who I am now
and I wouldn't change it
for the world.
Maybe I should let go more often.
-16.02.2020
