The Dreamers

XVI

Hindi ako makahinga.

You should be ashamed. A familiar dark voice in my head resurfaces. A voice I've spent years forgetting. Burying.

You're ruined. You're tainted. Tama na.

You're nothing now. Ayoko na. Parang-awa niyo na.

You can never run away from me. The darkness is here. It caught up.

"Val?"

Light. There's light. A little voice in my head said.

Mabilis kong inangat ang ulo ko at nakita ko siya. My light. Javi.

"Bakit nandito ka pa? It's al—" Hindi na niya natapos ang sasabihin dahil agad ko siyang niyakap. I buried my head on his chest and hugged him hard.

"Everything okay?" He asks, returning the hug.

I nod. Hinigpitan ko pa lalo ang yakap. "Five minutes."

Hinagod niya ang likod ko to calm me down. "Take all the time you need, love. I'm here."

>>>>>

5 days ago

Senator Genrio handed me an envelope as soon as I sat down. We were on an almost-empty coffee shop in N City. Pinasundo niya ako sa mga tao niya and they brought me here.

"Open it." Utos niya.

Kinakabahan ako but I did what I was asked. And what I saw inside was enough to bring me back to 3 years ago. With trembling hands, ibinalik ko lahat sa loob ng envelope.

"What is this?" I asked the man in front of me, voice shaking.

"This is dirt my men managed to dig in 5 days." He answered, putting down the coffee he was drinking. 

"I'm sure you're a nice girl. Imagine what a desperate political competitor with enough motive will be able to find out in 4 months."

Javi. 

Is he talking about...

"You're smart, Valerie, so I know I don't have to spell it out for you. Elections are happening next year. Once Javier officially files for candidacy, the bloodbath begins. You heard what happened to the candidate bet for governor of Balagras last elections." He stood up and fixed his coat.

Of course, I do. There's no one in this country who didn't know the Balagras scandal.

The candidate was a straight arrow, topped the polls every single time. But a scandal involving his wife leaked. Everything went downhill from there.

Hindi ako makahinga. Would this happen to Javi, too?

"I have nothing against you, Valerie. But Javier is a great man. You and I know he's bound for even greater heights. It's been his dream ever since."

Javi's voice echoes at the back of my mind. Dreaming of a better world. Let's make it come true.

"I know you'll do the right thing and not stand in the way of his dreams." He says before leaving.

Nakaharang nga ba ako sa mga pangarap niya?

>>>>>

"You sure you're okay?" Javi asked for the seventh time tonight. We're inside his car na nakahinto sa tapat ng apartment ko. He insisted on taking me home after I almost broke down and hugged him like a crazy woman kanina.

I smile, enough to convince him. "Oo nga, kulit mo. Pagod lang ako."

He held my hand, "Nightmares?"

I've been having nightmares ever since I met up with Javi's uncle. 

The first time, I woke up and had severe panic attack. Nagkamali akong natawagan si Javi. It took me a long time before I could convince him I was okay at hindi na niya ako kailangan puntahan at 3AM. 

He stayed on the phone with me, reading me a book until I was able to sleep. Nagising na lang ako after 3 hours, because Javi was knocking at my door already.

Since then, Javi insisted staying on the phone with me mula pagtulog hanggang paggising. 

And every night that I wake up from the nightmares, he'd be quick to calm me down. Hindi na din yata natutulog to. 

But he was adamant: either the phone call or have him stay with me.

"What can I do?" Javi asks. "Want me to stay with you? Kahit sa couch mo lang ako matulog." He offers.

I laugh. "Sira. It's fine. I always get them before. Usually kapag stressed out. Then it's a loop kasi the nightmares are stressing me out." I lie. 

"I'll be fine." I smile at him. "You're chasing them away anyway." I kiss his cheek to reassure him. "Thank you, love."

He smiles, unconvinced, but drops the topic. We get out of the car and he was walking me to my door when he said, "Let's have dinner tomorrow around 8?"

"Okay, but why so late?" I ask while fishing for the keys in my bag.

"Manggagaling pa akong N City. I'll be meeting with the campaign team. Tito insisted I prepare early." He explained.

Natigilan ako. The campaign.

"Are you excited?" I ask still pretending to fumble around my bag.

"With the campaign? No." He laughs.

"Pero how about after you win?" I ask. "When you're governor."

I turn around and look at him.

He smiles, "If I win..." he emphasized the if, "...it's going to be tough. But it's the kind of tough that fuels me. Powers me forward. It's a step closer to my dreams. If that's not exciting, then I don't know what would be." His eyes glow as he explains it to me.

His dream.

My heart hurts. Alam ko na ang kailangan kong gawin.

I smile as I try to hide the immense pain I feel. "Javi." I step closer to him and place my hands on his waist. "I will always support your dreams. Always."

He smiles and pulls me to him, completely hugging me. "Of course. You'd be right beside me as I make it happen." He presses a kiss at the top of my head. "And I'd do the same for your dreams, too."

I hug him tighter, burying my face on his chest para itago ang mga luhang ayaw na tumigil.

My dream is to make yours come true, Javi. And I'm going to do everything to ensure it.

No matter how hard. Whatever the cost is.

I'll protect your dreams, Javi. I love you.

>>>>>

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