I dont know why I did that. Something took over me. I'm so sorry Lawrence, I'm so sorry. I wanna be better, I really do.
Ill try for you by flower.
I promise.
"Lawrence.." I said in a scratchy voice, I grabbed his shoulders and hugged him tightly, he cried but didnt hug me back. I whispered in his ear. "I'll try my best to get better, I promise. I can get better, okay? You wont have to cry anymore. Itll all be okay, I promise" I held back tears and he started crying harder and dig his fingers into my back. I held his shoulders and looked at his face and smiled softly "imma start with getting a good nights sleep, its 1am right? I'll sleep on the floor and you can sleep on your bed." He smiled softly and wiped the tears off his cheeks.
"Okay let's go to bed.. but you are not sleeping on the floor."
"Then where am I sleeping?"
"I'll show you." He smiled at me and dragged me to his room. I lay on the bed and he lay next to me. I fell asleep instantly, I was so tired.
---------♤---------
I woke up the next morning to Lawerence gone. I got up and went downstairs to a freaking out Lawerence and Aren trying to comfort him. Lawerence face was red and washed with tears.
"What the fuck is his problem? He genuinely thinks he can just fucking waltz into here and try to fUCK ME!"
I never heard him so upset, that genuinely upset.
I just watched. my head hurt.
"Hey Lance, it's okay its okay we can get rid of him.."
"Why do I love him so much? He must know that I do. It seemed like he hated me so fucking much earlier and now hes acting like he loved me this whole time. He cant beat the shit out of me then try to fucking have sex with me like nothing happened. my body hates him but I cant help but love him. Am I broken? Did he break me so much that I have to love him now? I dont want to love him. I hate him so much but oh god I love him but I fucking hate him Aren. Just save ms from him I'm so scared and everything hurts I hate loving him. I hate loving him more then I hate anything."
Lawerence made eye contact with me. He still cried, but not sad.
Those were tears of hatred
"YOU! You think youre at the top of the world dont you?! You think you can walk in here, take my brothers vodka, try to fUCK ME, puke everywhere and expect me to just simply forgive you for everything you've done to me?! You BEAT me Nich?!? Why did you hate me so much? Fuck you!fuckyoufuckyoufuckyou! Leave my fucking house! I dont want to see you anymore! go back to your shitty house in your miserable room and leave me alone for onCE IN MY GODDAMN LIFE! I hate you! I hate you more then words could ever describe!"
I just stood there, just.. standing. Nothing, no thoughts, no words. I went upstairs to change to my Jeans and left the sweatpants folded on the bed that I made for him. The blankets started to smell like me but it still smelt like him, which isnt surprising. I opened the door and looked behind one last time, I regretted it. I saw Lawerence, he looked at me with a look I've never seen in his eyes.
I never knew someone could ever look at someone filled with so much rage.
"Leave my house, Nicholas."
