Give You Hell || j.j.k

14. The Replacement Has Boobs and the Car is Named Susan

"Good morning, Mrs. Kim!" I waved as we walked into the coffee shop, familiar scent of coffee beans and vanilla making my mouth water.
Taehyung decided that this weekend we were gonna go to as many places as we could together.
After the challenges, and the boys now being obsessed with Taehyung, it was becoming so much harder for us two to be alone together...
———
I snuggled into Taehyung under the covers of the couch, and he turned to me with his big eyes, slowly leaning in.
"You're watching Wall-E?! Count me in squad!" Jimin jumped from the back of the couch, landing perfectly between us as he slung his arm around us, smiling ridiculously as he offered us popcorn.
———
"Do you wanna go to the mall today?" I asked at the breakfast table.
"Sorry, Tae and I are repainting Susan." Yoongi said.
"Susan?" Taehyung asked.
"My van, Susan." He pointed towards the door and I groaned.
———
So with that being the past few weeks, we finally managed to escape.
"Oh, my future daughter! Come, come! Weekends is when the whole family hangs out at the shop!" She hugged me, ignoring her son.
I chuckled nervously, and Taehyung grabbed my hand again, leaning towards my ear.
"They're gonna love you, just... they can be a bit-"
"Taetae!" Two small voices called from the back as his knees were attacked.
I gawked at the small twin girls.
"That's Booboo..." Taehyung pointed with not much confidence.
"And that one's Beebee?" He pointed again and the girls shook their heads.
"Those are such cute nicknames!" I awed.
"They're not..." Taehyung aggressively shook his head, eyes wide, conveying danger.
"Is this her?" Beebee sounded critical as they both began circling me like tiny, pigtailed sharks.
"What's in your hair?" Booboo asked, pointing.
She was referring to the teddy bear clip I had in my hair, cause the plastic bear got messed up during manufacturing and somehow looks surprisingly like Jimin.
"It's a bear!" I eagerly showed it off, taking it off and kneeling to their level.
"Can I have it?" Booboo asked.
I sighed at the clip. "Of course, honey." I handed it to her.
"Do you want the bow clip?" I asked Beebee who was watching her sister play with the clip.
The bow only looked a little bit like a penis...
She nodded and walked over to me.
I grabbed a piece of her hair and pulled it back, securing it to her head.
"Oh, me too!" Booboo jumped and I did the same.
"You both look so pretty!" I sat on the floor of the cafe, chatting with them as Taehyung stood above me, hands in his pockets.
"Woah, is that a girl?! With you?!" A cracking voice yelled.
"Piss off, Squirt!" Taehyung yelled back as a kid with a headset walked in.
"Sup girl, the name's Squirt..." the boy winked.
There's no way that's his actual name...
"I'm (Y/n)..." I blinked.
"Can I ask you a question?" He leaned over the counter.
"Do girls moan when they wash their boobs?"
"Aw, Jesus! Squirt, leave the poor girl alone!"
The hottest thing I've ever seen in my life walked out of the back.
She was a female Taehyung.
I found myself oddly turned on and ignored it as I smiled at the older girl.
"Hi, I'm Minji." She gave me a handshake. "I'm the oldest, and thankfully got one of the normal names before Mom remarried."
"(Y/n)... h-hello." I waved slightly, instantly putting my hand down.
She chuckled and pulled me into a sudden hug.
"Love my baby brother, and I'll break you in half if you hurt him."
So, the thing about being oddly turned on was back...
"Oh, your father just left for the US this morning!" Minji informed her younger brother as she walked out the door.
Taehyung cringed. I didn't know everyone was gonna be here, let's just go.." he tugged.
"Oh, okay! Bye everyone, you're all so sweet!" I waved and heard Ms. Kim from the back gasping loudly about not getting any food to start the day.
"So what's next, less hot Minji?" I asked as we walked and he grabbed his heart dramatically.
"Less...hot...?" he pretended to hunch over, catching attention as I began to pretend I didn't know him.
"We get soft pretzels and offend old people?"
I kissed him right then and there.
———
"They really believed that I was a parkour-gendered, self identified male lesbian?" Taehyung asked as he slung his arm around me.
"I think that's exactly how I'd describe Jimin..." I pointed out and he snorted, sending me into a laughing fit.
"Wait, wait, wait, (Y/n)." He grabbed my hands.
"Yes, yes, yes, Taehyung?" I teased and he moved his hands to my shoulder.
"Date me, bitch."
———
"They're dating now! I don't know what to do!" Jungkook kicked the boy's room trash can completely over.
"Sir-"
"Aw shit! I can feel pain now! This has gone too far!"
"Sir, we watched everything like you said but you barely tried. If you're gonna do this, you have to take down that mortal boy one way or another."
Jungkook rolled his eyes, turning to the mirror. "Don't you dare question me... I'll get that girl and I'll break her heart in my hands if I have to."
He exited.
That prick Taehyung would drive her away himself anyways, Jungkook didn't have to lift a finger, he was too strong to.
"Jungkook?" Taehyung called from down the hall.
Fantastic...