A LETTER FROM ME TO YOU (JENLISA)

LETTER IX

*JENNIE*

I turned the turntable on and popped a record of 'Cigarettes After Sex' band. I thought Lisa's into pop music but I am completely wrong. While playing the record, I went back to the box and rummage to look what's left inside; A camera film, and a small vintage wooden box that contains a polaroid pictures of a really beautiful woman with a note behind it. Woman that could take your breath away. Guess it's her wife Chaeyoung.

"You know that I'm obsessed with your body,But it's the way you smile that does it for me."

"It's so sweet knowing that you love me. Though we don't need to say it to each other."

"Sweet knowing that I love you & running my fingers through your hairIt's so sweet."

"You know I think your skin's the perfect color,But it's always your eyes that pull me under."

(A/N: The quotes are actually from the song of Cigarettes After Sex, "Sweet")

As I keep on shifting the pictures. I froze. A picture of another woman caught my attention, with her brown eyes, long dark hair with a bangs, her pale skin, and her rosy plump lips.

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"You know that I LOVE YOU, right?"

I swallowed a lump from my throat.

Suddenly, I can feel myself drowning from her eyes. With her straight gaze, I can feel my lungs stopping from inhaling the air.

Starry eyes

What can I say to make you listen

Starry eyes

What can I do for your attention

Starry eyes

Starry eyes forever shall be mine

When I'm alone I hear and feel you

Wish that I could reach right out and touch you

But knowing you're the one to greet me and meet me

Two alone in the dark may it be

But the next pictures that I've witnessed made my heart sank into a gloomy feeling.

it was a picture of the two of them,

together.

"I would gladly break it. I would gladly break my heart for you..."

"The way they look into each other's eyes, full of love and happiness." I thought to myself, I can feel the uneasiness against my chest. but it never stopped me from staring at the next set of pictures.

"I fell in love with my bestfriend! and that's you my Chaeyoungie!"

"I would never get tired of teasing you, as much as loving you my Chaeyoungie."

I briskly put the pictures back to the wooden box with a hint of anger.

"What the hell is wrong with you Jennie?" I asked myself, completely annoyed.

annoyed by the fact that I kept looking at the pictures, feeling angry and jealous about it.

"Why the hell would you get jealous with these married couple?!"

Because you like her. You like Lisa.

"No no no no no no. it's not. and it will never be." I keep on fighting with my thoughts.

"Why would I like her? she's just a stranger to me. and so as she. I'm just reading her letters and that's it. maybe I just grew attached to this person, i'm sure there's nothing more than that."

I decided to put the wooden box beside the turntable and went back to my bed. just staring at the pictures made me feel tired and sleepy. letting my body feel relaxed under the soft mattress and the beautiful melody of the song, completely made me drift into a deep slumber.

---

After a week, I received another letter from Lisa.

To my wife Chaeyoungie,

Everyday I was eating standard military meals, budgeted for $1.95 per meal and containing 1-2 pieces of protein-material it doesn't necessarily mean meat, but anchovis and tofu every three meals or so. . In here, 13 of us used a room smaller than a standard hotel room. At night, we unfolded our beaten-up, military-color mattresses, one inch thick and slightly wider than our shoulder width, and slept crammed next to one another. Instead of having two phones, listening to music all the time and having the internet at my fingertip at all times, I had no phone, no music, no internet, not even access to a TV or newspapers. We couldn't lie down except when sleeping or practicing prone position for rifle shooting, and were not allowed to ever cross legs. I missed the outside, the malls, the cars, people walking through the streets, the streetfoods, I missed eating Tteokbokki with you to be honest. I feel so lonely knowing you're not here with me, but I keep reminding myself that everything that I'm doing here in the army is all for you. I love you!

Your dorky wife,

Lisa