A LETTER FROM ME TO YOU (JENLISA)

LETTER XI

*JENNIE*

Was it possible that Seulgi and Lisa know each other? Does Irene know who's Lisa is? A chance to know where Lisa's wife is?

To my wife Chaeyoung,

Looking back, few words could describe how spectacularly stupid I had been. The single most valuable gift I've gotten from the military experience so far is that the "deprived" life at the bootcamp completely re-booted my happiness-measuring system and helped me feel happiness from the smallest things. You would think I'm a stupid 7-year old, but the happiness from a bite of Choco Pie after 7 days of waiting is indescribable–I could practically feel the taste of chocolate triggerring a chain of nerve cells firing up all the way to my brain and releasing whatever that happiness hormone is called (dophamine I think?). I remember how you restrict me from eating too much sugar because I would get super hyper, and I wouldn't stop from talking and moving too much. I felt happy if I got to cross my legs secretly when the light went off in an auditorium. I felt happy if I got to sit down for 10 minutes after walking with a 20kg backpack for 40 minutes. I felt happy if I got to sleep 7 hours uninterrupted without any EC duty shift (we had two shifts every three nights, on average). I even felt happy if we got to see the world outside the training center. In other words, all the things I had taken for granted–the things so normal and everyday that I would never have considered as candidates for inducing happiness–made me happy. It's a pity that I could learn this only by physical suffering.

Love,

Lisa

I can vividly imagine Lisa in the army doing these things she's telling me through her letters. How her smile would form with every bite of the pie. How her happiness completely affects me, says a lot about what I felt for her. It's funny to think how she managed to get my attention and make it from a whole different level just by her written words. I couldn't deny the fact that no matter how many times I push away my feelings, it would just gradually bounce back to me. harder and stronger.

---

The next day, I received a text message from my cousin Jisoo, we were both an only child to the Kim family, that's why we used to hang out a lot with each other since we were kids. Eventually, we treated each other as sisters, aside from my annoying best friend Nayeon.

From: Cous Jisoo

Jennie! It's been a long time! We haven't talk to each other since you graduated from college, I know we're both busy with our jobs that we barely had enough time to talk or interact with each other. But look, I still manage to remember you and sent you a message. I couldn't call you since I've been with a lot of projects lately. Your mom told me that you had your own house already? We're you that eager much to settle down with someone? Just kidding. Maybe after the New Year I'd travel back to Korea and visit your place, we had a lot of things to talk about. Specially your love life! I Miss You Jennie!
P.S.

Save my number!

---

Night came and here I am laying in my bed as I listen to the music of the turntable.

(A/N: Play; Cigarettes after Sex; Crush)

Kai and Kuma were sleeping safe and soundly, while me I can't even shut my eyes close for a second. Lisa kept on invading my thoughts, swarming every corner in my mind.

I wanna line my walls with photographs you sent

Of you lying in your swimsuit on the bed

Can't live without your love inside me now

I'll find a way to slip into your skin somehow

I wanna tell Lisa how much she destroy my sanity.

I wanna fuck your love slow

Catch my heart, go swim

Feel your lips crush

Hold you here my loveliest friend

I wanna tell her that she's the reason for my sleepless nights.

The reason of my excitement every Friday night.

The reason of my sadness knowing she will never feel the same way I feel for her.

I love to watch you when you're trying on your clothes

& now you're all I think about when I'm alone

Can't wait to feel your love inside me now

We'll have a drink or two & we'll go to your house...

You.

Of all the people,

Why does it have to be you Lisa?

A stranger. A soldier.