verbatim. - cscoop

the road.

the air was brisk, the sheets were cold beneath her. her head spun when she thought. any feeling she had for anyone was accompanied by a migraine and a foul craving for a cigarette.

i was freezing. my head was pounding, my shitty little tv was on but there was only static appearing on the screen. my bed was under my window, plants congregated outside the window as i had my own hanging above it.

"fuck."

i just stared at the ceiling as i reached over to my bedside table. i slammed my hand into an almost empty pack of marlboro black menthols. 100s. my mom did it. its homey.

i stood up, slowly, but i got out of bed. i looked at my bong. it was sitting on the coffee table in front of a cheap red leather couch. nothing in my apartment really matched.

"it is nine am."

i discouraged myself before filling up a plastic water bottle to water my stupid plants. i flicked the ash off my cigarette into the air. not into a can or an ashtray.

"fuck it."

i held the filter end in my teeth as i looked through my laundry sitting on my cheap, red pleather couch. its a staple. its been here since i moved in.

i grabbed sweat pants and a cropped tank top. my hair was greasy as SHIT. i tried to make myself look presentable for my outing. by outing, i mean the same 3 errands i run every day.

"get the mail, go to the gas station, go to the park."

i spoke my errands out loud. i put on my shoes and grabbed my keys before going down my elevator. the building isnt bad. i just have a cheap apartment. its the cheapest. in fact.

"hey ron."

i waved at the desk guy. he's sweet and really fucking odd. he has this thing for older women and he's already like 50. weird lil man. i took my mail off his desk and flipped through the three envelopes.

"electric bill, mom's hospital bills, pax aus?"

i walked into my parking garage and started walking to my car. i was the only chick in highschool to be into cars. it made me popular enough to befriend cooper so damn not too bad. he was the one kid that was cool with everyone but never talked to anyone but the same three friends.

why am i thinking about him? on my mind now? fuck. i start my car and rev the engine just to be annoying. i keep my foot on the gas pedal as i sat in park. i ripped open the pax aus letter with my nail.

"hello, izabelle louise, your badge has been verified, blah blah blah—"

i read and threw the envelope in the back of my car before leaving the garage and going onto the highway to the only good gas station. counterintuitive right? its fine i'll just stop at cooper's.

fuck why am i thinking about him? do i like him? i shouldn't i don't know him like that. it was about noon, my windows were down and i was playing old odd future, the deep 808s reverberated against the concrete as i drove into the suburbia that the boys lived in. the garage door was open. someones awake.

i pulled into the driveway and hopped out of the driver seat. i left the engine running, i wasn't staying for long. i'll find someone to collect for today.