verbatim. - cscoop

the sky.

comfort wasn't something she was used to. she wasn't sure if it was ever permanent. she was scared of what it was like to feel permanence.

i sat in his embrace for a second, we passed the blunt until it was nothing more of a roach. it was getting later in the day, i stood up and looked at cooper.

this bastard was high as hell.

"do you want some water?"

i said in a baby voice, just to mock him.

"please? also lets watch a movie."

he giggled. he also rubbed he face and turned on my television. soon there after, i walked back from the kitchen and sat next to him as he scrolled through the cable guide.

i put his water on the coffee table and curled up next to him with the blanket that sits on the back of the couch.

"come here, izabelle."

he stuttered slightly and giggled. i hummed and laid my head in his lap. he ran his fingers through my hair and watched the tv.

my eyes were glued to my window, the sky was orange as the sun began to rest.

it was trancing. you know? like the sound from the tv, cooper being clingy, and the sky. i felt at home. i could fall asleep, my eyes are heavy.

i turned around to face coop. his eyes disconnected with the tv and locked with mine.

"hey coop?"

"i'm listening."

"you know—."

he tilted his head in confusion, he looked like a dog really. i stumbled out of my sentence solely because he tucked my hair behind my ear.

"you know the feeling's mutual, i'm just scared."

"why are you scared?"

he mumbled and cupped my cheek with his hand.

"i don't want it to be a lie."

i hummed and stood up. i rummaged through a clothes basket for clothes before i headed to the bathroom to shower.

"iz, you think everyone's lying to you."

he called me out, i nodded and laughed before opening the bathroom door.

"because i always find out. they have side girls, personal projects, other plugs. really though, i'm not supposed to be someone's first and only choice."

i word vomited. i really did. but god did it feel good to know i told the truth. i turned on the hot water in the shower before i began to take off my clothes.

but i needed a cigarette. i walked back into the living room, pretty much naked, in my bra and the pants i wore all day.

not really naked.

i watched cooper on his phone, as i used his lighter. he was smiling. i felt crushed. i knew where i stood in this, he just didn't see why i'm so conscious of it.

i put the cigarette in the ashtray on my toilet. real classy, i know. i undressed, shut the door, and sat under the hot scolding water. my skin turned pink, i watched the water roll over my hands before i stood up in the shower and began to wash my hair.

cooper knocked at the door.

"iza, am i allowed to pee, ma'am?"

he giggled and began to turn the handle, before i could respond.

"i don't care."

i responded. my shower curtain had some horrid tropical design. he wouldn't be able to see anything more than a silhouette. he left after washing his hands.

i turned off the water and pulled back the curtain. i got dressed, i brushed my teeth, and went back into the room.

cooper wasn't there, plastered onto the couch like an ape, i walked further. i decided it'd be smart to brush hair. only to find out this hooker went to bed.

i giggled and put my hair in a bun and got on the couch. i turned off the lights and curled up with the blanket. the tv was roaring, i felt like i was in a coming of age movie.

it'd be a shit movie.