You are perfect (Barrisco)

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(1118 words)
The italics are the voices in his head.

Cisco's POV:
  I wake up with his arms around my waist holding me close. I smile knowing he hadn't left yet. I slip out of his arms trying not to wake him up.

  I put on some jeans and a shirt on then brushed my hair. I went to the kitchen and got the stuff for pancakes out, eggs, and bacon.  I start cooking it all so hopefully it would be done before Barry woke up.

  I was flipping the last pancake when I feel arms slip around my waist. I smile and say "good morning" He mumbled something into my shoulder. "Go sit I'll bring you your food in a minute." He kisses my cheek and went to the table to sit down. I make his plate then set it in front of him. I smiled sitting down. He started to eat and I just moved my food around with my fork.

"You okay?" Barry asked me. I debate on what to say, I can't say how I actually feel but I really don't want to lie to him. "Yeah." I lied through my teeth. "Then eat baby, you've just been moving your food around." He smiled at me, I forced a smile then look down at my plate. It makes me nauseous, the thought of eating disgusted me.

Don't eat that you're already fat.

Just  skip the meal you don't need it.

I ate a bite of eggs. It made me want to throw up. Barry looked at me with a concerned look. I must of made a face when i ate the eggs which I regret . "Baby are you sure you're okay?" I lie again "Yeah I'm fine bubs." I smile and try not to cry. "Oh shit I gotta get to CCPD." He said looking at the time. He finished his food then ran to get ready.

He came back and gave me a kiss and a I love you then was gone. I threw away my food and cleaned up the kitchen. I drove to Star labs and when I got there I started to feel really dizzy. I know why I'm dizzy I haven't really ate anything in like 3 days. I take a couple deep breaths then get out of my car.

I go in and Caitlin is already here working on some science thing. I sat at the computer and started working.

It was hours later when I got an alert of a meta human. Robbery at the Central City Museum. I call Barry about it then he sped there.

It was a quick get it done and over with thing. Barry came back to the lab. He was all smiley. It made me smile. I stood up and got really dizzy, I fell down to the floor. "Cisco!" Barry yelled. He ran over to me with Caitlin not far behind. " Cisco baby what's wrong?" I managed to get out "Dizzy" then I pass out.

Barry's POV:
His eyes closed and I lifted him up into my lap. "Cisco! Hey! Wake up!" "Bring him to the med bay!" Caitlin said running over there. I picked him up and brought him over then sat him on the bed.

"Cait, what's wrong with him!?" "I have no idea Barry, but I'm gonna need you to calm down." Caitlin said putting a IV in his arm. "What did he eat for breakfast?" Caitlin asked. "I don't think he really ate anything for breakfast." "Thats what I thought." "What?" I ask.

"It seems like he hasn't eaten anything for at least a couple days." I thought about it. He hadn't been eating breakfast a lot lately or dinner to be honest. "He hasn't really been eating breakfast or dinner lately does he eat lunch here with you?" She shakes her head no.

I've been sitting next to him for a couple hours holding his hand. I wasn't really paying attention I was just staring into space.

Cisco's POV:
I slowly open my eyes and realize that I'm in the med bay. I look over and see Barry. "Bubba" I whispered. Barry looked over at me and smiled so brightly then kissed me. "Cisco Ramon if you ever pull something like that again!" "I'm sorry" I mumble quietly because it kinda scares me when Barry yells. "Baby, honey?" "Yeah" I look up at him with a kinda scared look. "Cait said you passed out from not eating. Have you been eating?" My body went numb. He new. He was never supposed to know.

I bring my knees to my chest and start crying. I can't look at him. I feel his hand on my back. Him kiss my head. He whispered sweet things into my ear. He held me close.

I finally stop crying and look over at Barry. He looked sad. I never want him to be sad, he does deserve to be sad. "Baby I need to know when was the last time you ate a full meal?" I didn't want to say I really didn't.

You don't deserve him.

He'd be better off without you.

He doesn't actually care.

You're ugly.

You're fat.

You're useless.

I yell "SHUT UP!" Not meaning to. Barry jumped back. "No no no not you Barry!" Now I'm freaking out and start crying again. Barry comes back and holds me close. He keeps saying it's ok.

Again after I stop crying he asks a question. "Cisco you gotta tell me when you last ate and why you just yelled at nothing?" I choked out "I ate Sunday night and the voices. They don't ever stop talking." He has me look him in the face. "You could of told me baby. I love you and thank you for telling me honey." He held my hands and we sat. "I love you too bubba." I said quietly.

"Baby if you don't want to answer the question you don't have to. But can you tell me what they're saying?" I think about how to say it or even if I want to. "They say I don't deserve you, which I don't but I'm glad I have you, they tell me I'm fat and ugly. Useless. They tell me to skip meals and to stop eating." My eyes tear up. He looks at me with a brightness in his eyes. "I'm so proud of you honey. You told me about something I wouldn't been able to tell. But don't listen to them. You deserve the world Cisco. You are the man I could of asked for. You are not fat or ugly you are perfect the way you are. I love you so much. Okay?" I smile a real smile "Okay."

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