Forbidden Desire [Kagamine Len x Reader]

I like you.

Controlling your own feelings was something nobody was capable of. There was no way to affect how you felt towards someone. Feelings were something that just happened while we were living our life. They could make us sad, but they could also bring us happiness and joy. The only thing we were able to do was to make the best out of it. And that was something you still needed to understand. Just because you told yourself that you hated Len over and over again didn't change the fact that you actually liked him. At least that was something you finally accepted. You accepted that the way you felt towards him changed. That there was no hate left in you. And yet, you were doing it again. You denied your own feelings, giving them no chance at all. 

But no matter how often you'd tell yourself that you were just liking him a little tiny bit, this still wouldn't change the fact that you actually felt more towards him. Your heart would still race whenever he was close to you. You would still feel that certain spark whenever he would touch you. And you would still allow him, over and over again, to do as he please with you. So why couldn't you just accept your feelings; Accept the things your heart wanted to tell you? Were you afraid? Maybe. You never felt this way before and you couldn't deny that the things he did to you let you feel amazing things. Still, you knew that he also did those things with so many other girls and in the end they were left behind with a broken heart. Could it be that you were scared that the same could happen to you? That your heart would be broken by him too? After all, you were sure that you were nothing more to him but someone he could have some fun it. He was just playing with you and once he would get bored, he would move on to the next girl. 

But maybe there was another reason, because you couldn't accept it. Was it your pride? Because you always claimed to be the girl, who wouldn't fall for Kagamine Len? You never wanted to be like all the others. And above all, you actually hated people like him; People, who were lying and did everything they could to get what they wanted, giving a damn about the feelings of others. No, there was no way you could ever feel something like love for someone like that. But while you were thinking like that again, you forgot that you couldn't control your own feelings yet again. You had to understand; To accept, that you couldn't change the way you felt towards Len right now. Maybe, if he would go as far and hurt you, to trample upon your feelings and to give a damn about you, maybe then your feelings towards him would change. But for now you had no other choice but to just accept them. Accept the way your heart was beating for him, how your whole being was craving him. And hopefully you would understand this soon, instead of keep on frustrating yourself and pushing him away over and over again. 

Slightly you turned your head, watching the blonde doing his homework. But as he suddenly turned to look at you, you quickly averted your gaze again. Len smiled and then closed the book in front of him. "I'm done. What about you?" Of course you weren't done, too occupied with cursing your heart and staring at him. But would you admit that? Never. "Oh, I'm done as well." Well, you could still do your homework later. "Good. Oh, by the way, I wanted to ask how's your feet? Today it seemed like it didn't bother you anymore." Was he still worried about you? "Oh, it's better. Sometimes it still hurts a bit, but at least I can walk around normally again." "That's good. Still can't believe that asshole did this to you. I should have killed him for that. Sorry for not showing up earlier and preventing it." Kind of shocked you looked at him. Was he blaming himself? "It wasn't your fault, so don't worry about it. Besides, you stopped him from going much further. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't show up." "But I worry about it!" You couldn't help the laugh that now escaped your lips. "Since when are you so worried about me? That doesn't suit you at all." But you couldn't deny that it made you happy, just a bit of course. "You're part of my family, of course I worry about you." 

Oh, that's right. You were family. Step siblings. Something like brother and sister. You nearly forgot that. And suddenly it hit you. The things he did with you shouldn't happen at all. It was forbidden. Siblings shouldn't do such things and above all, a sister shouldn't see her brother the way you saw Len currently. Although you weren't related by blood and your mother already knew about it and seemed to be okay with it, this still didn't change the fact that it shouldn't be. You knew you should stop it as soon as possible. But then why? Why was there this little part in you that didn't want to stop all of this? You knew you had to, but right at this moment it seemed impossible to you.