I just want to disappear, like a ghost. I don't want to die but I wish I could go far away, to some place where nobody knows me, nobody knows anyone I have ever met and they don't have a way to contact them. I wish I could abandon myself. I've always had a way of abandonment but when it comes to leaving my own soul behind, I can't. I hate myself. I hate myself more and more every second I am still me. From the look of my nose to the cellulite behind my thighs, I want to cut it off. I want to take scissors to my body, to completely reconstruct myself. I wish to have a body that you have never touched. I read somewhere that skin cells are always regenerating and it takes 7 years to completely shed. How fucking wonderful it would be knowing that I am not the same me that you knew. That this body of mine will one day forget you, that you will not know what my skin feels like anymore. The way your hand caressed my cheek or the movements your fingers made across my body—it is not yours to touch anymore.
- my skin will forget you but my mind will always remember
YOU ARE READING
The Diary of Me
PoetryI have marked this story as "completed" but I don't know if it will ever actual be complete. This is my journal, my secrets, my thoughts. This is The Diary of Me.
