Mean Siren
A Screenplay by HF(shhhhhh, I used my nickname for the picture but shhhhhh)
EXT. GREENWICH, LONDON - AFTERNOON
Intersex businessman SCHLATT J SCHLATT is arguing with funny guitarist WILBUR WILLIAM SOOT. J tries to hug WILLIAM but he shakes him off.
J
Please William, don't leave me.
WILLIAM
I'm sorry J, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
J
I am such a person!
WILLIAM frowns.
WILLIAM
I'm sorry, J. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
WILLIAM leaves.
J sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, funny business associate CONNAR CONNOR EASTPANM barges in looking flustered.
J
Goodness, Connor! Is everything okay?
CONNOR
I'm afraid not.
J
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
CONNOR
It's ... a siren ... I saw an evil siren murder a bunch of kids!
J
Defenseless kids?
CONNOR
Yes, defenseless kids!
J
Bloomin' heck, Connor! We've got to do something.
CONNOR
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
J
You can start by telling me where this happened.
CONNOR
I was...
CONNOR fans himself and begins to wheeze.
J
Focus Connor, focus! Where did it happen?
CONNOR
A Library! That's right - A Library!
J springs up and begins to run.
EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
J rushes along the street, followed by CONNOR. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
INT. A LIBRARY - SHORTLY AFTER
TY IAM a mean siren terrorises two kids.
J, closely followed by CONNOR, rushes towards TY, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
CONNOR
What is is? What's the matter?
J
That's not just any old siren, that's Ty Iam!
CONNOR
Who's Ty Iam?
J
Who's Ty Iam? Who's Ty Iam? Only the most mean siren in the universe!
CONNOR
Blinkin' knickers, J! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean siren in the universe!
J
You can say that again.
CONNOR
Blinkin' knickers, J! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean siren in the universe!
