Poems for Another

rolling boy & green girl

he starts rolling a blunt,
purple kush with rhinestones.
girl sits still wanting to confront
her rolling boy.
stomach filled with butterflies,
eyes green uncontrolled by joy.
not knowing what to say or visualize.
trip trip tripping on his blue eyes,
reminding her of the good old times.
heading up to the lake,
lighting fireworks & jumping off rocks.
driving to the city to feel awake,
sipping expensive drinks on lost walks
life was like a maze,
getting sucked into the haze.
making love and doing drugs.
he bought me a stuffed ladybug,
to remind me of how lucky I am.
Not taking my antidepressant drug
Started the world of war,
Between the lion and the lamb
Because we opened the door
To the mountain tops of self reflection
Down to the cliff of rejection
I can't help but go the wrong direction
Every time it happens
I'm not surprised anymore
I've learned from my actions
Finding satisfaction
In being my best self I try to be
Simply a fucking human being
But now I'm green girl to him
He made me dim
Her green eyes stopped her from seeing
A yellow haze behind
Her motto now being
Out of sight out of mind

green girl reaches for him,
he pulls closer.
lighting the blunt he created,
she whispers to him,
I still love you the same.
despite all the games we've played,
and all the torment we've caused.
all the lies and people we've blamed.
doesn't even matter,
because I still love you the same.
That's our super power.
My rolling boy why can't you see me
You disappear like Houdini
When I need you the most
You turn back into a ghost
While you're gone
I slowly began to move on
Forgetting the way you mistreated me
I only caused myself pain repeatedly

I lost my sight at some point
You led me on to disappoint
Both of us
With nothing left to discuss
The moon hides our shadows
A dark place I overexpose
I don't mean to impose
The conversation of narcissistic men
Are the reason why we sin
Attracting insecure women
With nothing left but their skin
Heart stolen
Hands swollen
Punching holes in walls
Nothing matters but those missed calls
You'll regret your mistakes
That always gave me bellyaches