Changed

Trivial

Time flew by quickly. Before I knew it, I had my bags packed to go to Florida.
I was done with senior year so I really didn't have anything to lose. I told my friends goodbye and they seemed kind of bummed that I wasn't attending graduation and prom and messy things like that.

My dear father felt like I chose to not attend as a way of punishing him, but he was wrong. Like really wrong. Even if I wasn't going to attend the university of Miami, I still wouldn't have attended prom at least.

I found all these things trivial. What was the point of dressing up in fancy dresses to attend a party with a boy you were not really sure of liking just to drink punch which was more alcohol than mixed fruit, dance offbeat to really loud music, lose home training, get high and probably lose your virginity to a person you probably won't remember by the next day.
What was the point of all that? What was the point of anything? To be honest, the most trivial thing was high school. People said it was our chances to make bad decisions as teenagers. Nobody considered the fact that bad decisions aren't always easy to correct. Nobody fears the angry old man that is death.
Dude is angry I must tell you.

He takes whoever he pleases..without even thinking twice. What was wrong with him? He probably needed a nice cold glass of whiskey to calm the hell down.

Hell.. His home.
What was the use of calming it down? When there were teenagers that fed its fire by making 'bad decisions'. I would never give that dude what he wanted. I wasn't a happy person yeah, but I wouldn't be stupid enough to purposely make bad decisions. That was like giving your soul to the devil for free. If he wanted it, he had to really try. And I mean the pay had to be high!

What was I saying again?

Anyways, I was glad I was done with high school. The clichés, stereotypes and the stupid hierarchy that always seemed to foolishly exist. I was glad I was done with all that.

Fast forward to right now. I'm in my dad's car with my luggage not so neatly arranged in the back. I look out my window as the city passed in a blur.

Everywhere had an imprint of my mom's being. The parks we went to together, the salons where we got our hair done, our favourite restaurants, even the streets reminded me of her. She loved biking, so we would always go out together.

It was probably for the better that I was leaving. The town was becoming choking anyways.

My mind went reeling back to a conversation I had with my father.
It was a Sunday, and I was forced once again to eat at the table with him. Honestly, I didn't see the importance of that moment set aside for father-daughter bonding. I don't think he saw an importance in it too. Because we barely talked, and he undoubtedly found it hard to look at me.
This day most particularly, he was really avoiding eye contact. I wouldn't have cared, but I was leaving soon and he wasn't even trying at all. It felt like he couldn't wait till I was gone.
"the food is nice" he had said awkwardly.

"hmmm" I had given an unintelligent reply.

We had continued our meal and for the first time in a long time, it felt choking. I didn't know what came over me to ask:

"who came up with the idea of me moving to Florida?"

He had turned to me with a somewhat surprised expression. "what?"

"was it you or ammà?"

On realizing my question, he had gone into a coughing fit. Searching frantically for the glass of water that was right in front of him to quench his choke. I only watched him. His manic behaviour only gave me an answer.

"Stevie darling.." he had started. "no one exactly came up with the idea. We were just talking! I.. I can't really remember how the conversation went.. It happened like weeks ago!"
Stuttering. Something that gave off more than a person wanted. If he wasn't going to give me an answer, the only right thing to do was to draw my conclusions.