My Favorite Season

Heart On Ice

I woke up confused and dazed. I didn't know where I was and I didn't remember what happened. I saw big brown eyes staring at me. I knew those eyes, they belonged to Warren. Why was he staring at me with a hospital mask? I immediately tried to climb out of the hospital bed to leave. I knew Warren didn't look at me the way I looked at him but I still didn't want him to see me like this. I didn't want him to see me weak or in my time of need.
"No, you have to stay here, the doctors said you have to have surgery tomorrow.
Why? What happened?
You slipped in the shower and fell and hit your head and fell unconscious
Then what kind of surgery do I need?
You also lost a lot of blood, so the doctors ran a blood test to find your blood type and discovered that it's O positive. They also found out that you have kidney failure.
How did you get here? How did you find out?
Well I-"
Just as Warren was about to explain my doctor came in. A tall handsome bearded light skin guy with a beard that connected and arms covered in tattoos. He basically tells me everything Warren just did and told me that my surgery is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Great, I thought to myself, I can't do anything right. I can't even take a shower without almost killing myself. I then thought about it from a different perspective, everything happens for a reason. If I hadn't taken a shower when I did, my kidney could have gotten worse. The doctor checks my vitals one last time before he leaves. My blood pressure was regular, and so was my heart rate. The only thing that was alarming was my temperature. I had a slight fever. The doctor gave me some of that special hospital medicine that tastes disgusting before he left. Warren saw the disgust in my face and went to get me some ice water. See that's the thing, he's caring. The way he cares for me honestly makes me melt and I hate it. He's my friend, he's supposed to be like a brother to me. I just can't help it. Even with me laying in a hospital bed with surgery tomorrow, somehow him being here makes everything better. He's my peace. He has a weird way of making everything feel like it's gonna be okay. He was reassuring and all I ever wanted was reassurance.
Later that night after Warren left I couldn't sleep. I wasn't even nervous about the surgery, the only person I could think about right now was Warren. I knew that telling him how I felt had a huge chance of ruining the way things were between us. I didn't want that to happen, that was the last thing I wanted but it wasn't fair to me. Every second we spent together made my heartbreak because me even feeling like this is wrong. I decided that after my surgery tomorrow that I was going to tell him. I had to do it for me, I at least deserved closure. I thought about all of the possible outcomes until I eventually fell asleep.

I had an amazing sleep last night. I don't know how I managed to with all of the drama going on right now, but I took it as a sign. I took it as a sign that everything was gonna be alright. I sat up watching infomercials on the small hospital tv hung up in the corner of the wall waiting for my doctor to come get me for surgery. After about an hour my doctor comes in with an upset look on his face.
"Hey Doc? What's going on, everything alright?

Good afternoon, uh I don't really know how to tell you this but I have some unfortunate news.
What is it?" My heart sank to my stomach. I didn't know what to expect.

"The donor that we had scheduled for your liver fell through, and there's a long waiting list and it would take at least 24 hours to get you on it."

I was in complete shock. The last thing I remember is hearing a flat line and my eyes closing.