My Favorite Season

Say You're Just A Friend

Warrens POV
"Kissing the doctor? I can't believe it! I show up to the hospital with all of their favorite snacks and a letter expressing how I feel just to see them kissing? I'm devastated. I mean I had a feeling that my crush wasn't mutual between us but seeing them kissing confirmed it. I honesty don't know what to do. I feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest. It's hard to breathe and even think straight.
I know my first instinct should be to calm down & think rational but I can't. I can't because I feel stupid. I always put myself in these situations to get hurt. Why would I even develop this crush? Whenever they would ask me to hang out I should've just said no! I wanted to so bad but I couldn't. I loved getting invited to hang out. I felt comfortable with them & felt myself coming out of my shell. I'm so stupid for thinking that this could ever happen, and I'm stupid for even thinking about opening up. Whenever I get close to someone and form a bond and actually think this person could be in my life forever I do something and ruin it. If I never would have gotten feelings involved I wouldn't even care about them kissing the doctor and I wouldn't be so devastated. I never understood why I always ruin good things and push people away. I guess I just don't deserve love. I'm such a fucking idiot!"

As Warren tore up the letter and threw the snacks in the trash he felt tears rushing through his eyes. He hadn't cried in years and was about to burst. He ran into the bathroom in the hospital waiting room and ran into a stall and locked the door. He sat on the toilet and started bawling into the palm of his hands. Year and years of pain and hurt were bursting out of his body in the form of tears. It was uncontrollable, so he just let it happen. Moments later Warren hears the bathroom door open. To avoid embarrassment he wiped his tears and stopped his sobbing. He peeks under the stall and sees clogs and scrubs.
Why were doctors in the bathroom? Don't they have their own bathrooms to use?

"Hey man how you holding up? One doctor says to the other.

I'm hanging in there but you know when a patient dies it really does take a toll on you. He responds.

Yeah I can imagine, but hang in there man you did everything you could.

I just don't get it. I mean you come in for a fall and then a week or 2 later you die? It just doesn't make sense to me.

It doesn't make sense to me either, but you did the best you could. Dont beat yourself up about it."

A patient died because of injuries from a fall and Warren knew exactly who that patient was. His heart sunk into his stomach. He never had the chance to confess his feelings of love & now he never will, they were gone.