( there will be manga spoilers in this, this takes place before training camp, and you are a third-year and older than atsumu and akaashi)
( I haven't thought about actually writing full smut and I don't think I will, I want this to be more on the emotional side, so if I do it will be full of their emotions on Each other not on the actual fucking)
( THIS WILL START WITH ANGST BUT HAVE A HAPPY ENDING I PROMISE)
( NO FUCKING TEEN PREGNANCIES)
( you will be having interaction with characters other than bokuto, akaashi and atsumu.)
( YOU HAVE POWER IN THE DECISIONS I MAKE, I will ask what you guys want, tell me and I WILL consider it)
( if you're uncomfortable with sexual content then LEAVE NOW, this book is NOT PG, THIS WILL CONTAIN SEXUAL CONTENT)
( updates will be at least once a month, at most three times a week, most likely, once a week)
( enjoy~ )
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you never thought of yourself to be the type of person in a situation like this, stuck. absolutely helpless. You had one rule, the one rule you broke but you'll never admit. the one thing that you will keep to yourself so it won't break his peace of mind.
Atsumu Miya, he has a girlfriend, you know that. so you won't tell him. you'll keep to yourself, You aren't going to be selfish. atsumu is not yours to love. You know that you'll never be more to him than a bed warmer, a fuckbuddy. You hate it, you resent this fact with all your being but, who's at fault. you dived into this fully knowing what would happen, knowing that you're not going to leave this the same.
you can't remember how this started, it was two, three months ago that you met Atsumu Miya. it was at a party, you remember vividly how his skin felt, you savor the feeling of Atsumu. Yet you feel so filthy touching what's not yours, not yours. you knew he had a girlfriend, so why did you do this to yourself. Was it to get revenge against her, to be a whore. what was it? you don't know, but whatever the hell it was you plead that you could take it back.
it was made clear that you would only, ONLY be fuckbuddies, nothing more nothing less. you weren't allowed to talk to him while he was in public, you weren't allowed to tell your "friends", you are not allowed to catch feelings, you are not allowed to tell his girlfriend, you are not allowed to text him while he's with her.
Today, you wake up exhausted and used. you remember last night's events. so your not in the least bit wavered by the fact you wake up without the familiar dip beside you. without the arms that secured around you, without the small ruffles of bleached hair, without Atsumu.
You were honestly quite used to this. You tumble out of bed, legs sore and hurting. The first thing you do is a tap at the bedside table to reach your phone. You tap the screen seeing the familiar wallpaper, you and your ex-boyfriend that you're not over. You and your stupid fucking heart. You love two people, your ex, who you still might have a chance with, and Miya Atsumu who you'll never get despite your desperate attempts.
Your Ex, you remember why you broke up, because you moved. It was stupid, and you tried to convince him to keep a long-distance relationship however you failed, only resulting in an argument. After that, you moved, you found yourself at a party, and you met Miya Atsumu. You still didn't change the wallpaper of you and him taking a selfie. You want to cling to the little of him you have left. The little of Akaashi Keiji that you have left.
Dragging yourself to your apartment's bathroom was work. You take a look in the mirror, your skin was tainted with purple hickeys, bite marks and scratches. You felt disgusting, you let some other than Keiji taint you. But your almost sure that he's with someone else, he's beautiful so you wouldn't be surprised if some underclassmen confessed to him after rumors spread that Keiji and (Y/N) broke up. You miss him, maybe you guys can get back together one day. It's what you want to believe but you know that it's most likely not going to happen.
Deciding to stop moping about your shitty life you turn on the shower, you scrub at your skin. Scratching at it, rubbing, washing, cleansing yourself of the sins you've committed the previous night. The fact that you helped a man cheat on his girlfriend, you knew you were a whore, you wouldn't even be able to look Keiji in the face so what the hell was the rambling of seeing him again about. You knew the second you saw him that you'd break down, you'd lose yourself to him.
"OW! FUCK"
Just as you were getting philosophical and emotional, your shampoo decides to finesse itself into your eyes,Finally, you managed to wash out the hair soap outta yer eyes. At the cost of looking baked.
You wrapped the towel around your hair and started to get dressed. You chose sweatpants and a baggy shirt. Why? Because fuck appearances. You do your daily morning routine of caking your face with some makeup products, brushing your teeth (some of y'all r nasty af, brush your goddamn teeth) putting on a pair of your basic white bitch vans, some velvet socks, and brushing your hair.
Although you don't think so, you're actually quite attractive to many people. ( yes you are bitch, your all beautiful😤) and baggy clothes would help cover all the hickeys that Atsumu deemed necessary to leave on you. Some days you would go all out with your outfit choice, but today, it was not one of those days. Today was a day that you just needed to go out, grab something unhealthy to eat them retreat to your room to sob about your current life situation while indulging yourself in music.
You grabbed your purse and headed out the door, then you locked your apartment door like the responsible 17-year-old you are(cant be 18 bc they're still minors-). Yeah, that's right. You're older than your fuckbuddy and ex. You're literally going to be an adult in so many months.
You made your way down to a bakery or some shit, grabbed a bag of chips, an energy drink, and chocolate. You didn't care about how unhealthy your meal choices are, because, you just don't fuckin care.
Your mind wanders while you wait in line. What if I told Atsumu that I have feelings for him. He'd reject me right. He'd instantly turn down my confesssion. But... there's no way in hell that he actually loves his girlfriend right? Or else why would he cheat on her, why is he with her? Is she a status symbol or something, why is she more special than you, hell your prettier than her, you'd be more committed, and you and Atsumu already have more sex than her and Atsumu.
Was it a forced relationship? Well. Even if they weren't together you know that he won't choose you anyways. You're a side toy, a plaything. You don't matter to him, and nothings ever gonna hurt like seeing him in public with her, seeing them happy, and not having the choice to say hi, to say anything. It's the rules, you're not allowed to be anything more than his fuckbuddy
Hey bitches this is the preview, I have a pretty good idea in how I want this story to go, but I am going to let people decide how they want this to go so no, nothing is set in stone. For all I fuckin care you could end up with hinata, I'm gonna try and keep your choices limited to akaashi, atsumu, osamu, bokuto,. But if you guys wanna end up with someone else then fucking go for it. That ranges from iwaizumi to kageyama or some shit. I have my ways but just comment or dm if you actually want it to happen.
