OTMA: Till The End Of Time

God Save the Tsar!

Tsar Nicholas II:

July 1918
The day I became Tsar, feels like it happened yesterday. Crowned to rule Russia until death. When my dear sunny got pregnant for the first time we were ecstatic, praying and hoping for a boy to welcome into this world as heir to the throne, but god had other plans. We were blessed with a healthy baby girl. All of Russia celebrated that day, we all wished for a boy, but at least the baby was healthy and there was plenty of time for a boy to come. I named her Olga after a poem I had read. After two years past, we tried again the same result we had another girl, I named her Tatiana after the poem as well.  Russia still celebrated, slowly growing impatient for their heir.

After a few years my third daughter Maria was born and my wife was in labor with our fourth child. We were sure that it was going to be a boy and after hours of waiting and praying the cries of a baby were heard. I entered the room,"It's a girl!" the doctor cried out. I froze, how was I going to let all of Russia know that still there is no heir, that they have waited long for. I started to leave the room while my sunny cried out my name in desperation, sobbing uncontrollably. I went out for a long walk that day. I went to think, clear my head.

Alexandra was resting when I returned. She noticed my presence and quickly shot out of bed. "Nicky, Nicky please forgive me, I don't know what is wrong! I was sure the baby was going to be a boy!"she cried out. I was still silent and sat on her bed, "Do you fancy the name Anastasia? The name means resurrection, the public might not be fond of her now, but she will rise in popularity as she will grow older." It took Sunny a few seconds to comprehend what I was speaking about, until she finally said "It's a lovely name."

We were all in a basement, trapped. The love of my life sat in a chair due to her ill condition, and my dearly beloved brave boy sat next to her. I looked back at my daughters, one by one lined up behind them with our loyal servants. They should not be considered servants, but saints, staying with my family through all the ill conditions. Our captors informed us that a riot broke out and below ground level would be safer. They also informed us that we will be relocated.

Everyone was starting to get relentless. Joy, Alexei's cocker spaniel ran away sending Alyosha  into panic as well as my daughters. Jimmy, Shivbik's (Anastasia) Cavalier King Charles Spaniel rested in her arms but anyone in the room could tell that the dog was petrified. Ortipo was outside and his barks could be heard all the way from down here in the basement. "Oh how I wish to have little Ortipo down here safe in my arms!" my second oldest daughter, Tatiana, cried out.

"At least you know where your dog is, I don't know where is Joy! Is he even safe at all?" Alexei murmured. " Calm down the both of you! We will get Ortipo before we leave and we will make sure that Joy is found and brought back to us." my oldest, Olga, comforted placing her hand on Tanya's shoulder. The room went silent again, no one saying a word. "Papa, why are there stuffed animals on the ground? Why is there a Mama bear and three little cubs?" my son asked.

I tried to think nothing of it, we were going to get out of this prison free. When we first entered this dungeon there were four stuffed animals that sat against the wall.  "It is a sign of respect for the dead my boy," I answered in the best way possible. I didn't dare to look at him, I knew what everyone in the room was thinking. He was the only brave one to ask this question out loud, since he has been the only one close to death out of all of us due to his illness, hemophilia. As my wife calls it, the family curse. But everytime he slipped out of death's grasp, due to our friend Father Grigori.

"Is this a sign for us? Are we the ones that are going to be..." my son started off, but the love of my life cut him off, "Alexei! How can you say such a thing!?" She turned to look at me, expecting me to say something. "Well, we're going to get out of this place." I stated with the little confidence I had. I looked over at my son, he was smart, he was always smart, from the beginning, from sneaking extra sweets on his plate to getting out of his french tutoring lessons with Pierre Gilliard. He could tell that there was a chance that we weren't going to get out of here, but when I looked at his face, at all of of my daughter's faces I couldn't help myself but contain a small amount of hope.

"Papa, when are we going to get out of here? It's getting hot and I'm tired," Shivbik complained. "Anastasia! Stop complaining and disrupting your father from thinking! A Grand Duchess shall not display such behavior!" my wife scolded, whispering the last part in english, breaking one of the most important rules that our captors installed, we must always speak russian. What was odd to me was that there were no soldiers in the room guarding us. In our usual day to day captivity they were in every room, they even had to escort us to some of the rooms on our floor, like the restrooms.

"Let's not think of the worst right now children! Let's think of the life that you all will have once we are out." Dr. Botkin, our once family physician, now dear friend said. "I hope to go to Livadia! I know that we likely won't, but I hope england will be nice as well."Alyosha spoke up. "I love Livadia so much! I miss the the long walks, fields, and water! " Maria expressed. "I miss the rest of our pets."Olga sighed. "Now, Oliska, positive thoughts only," I smiled at her with all the power I had left. She took her gaze off of Alexei and looked at me, smiling back "Then I can't wait to see Auntie Olga and Auntie Ella again."

"Me too! I can't wait to be able to go outside to smell the flowers and run around!"Tatiana exclaimed. Everyone in the room was hopeful, I pray to god that we get out here alive and safe. If not me, then at least my family. They don't deserve to be in here. They shouldn't suffer from my mistakes, I should. It is my fault that Russia turned on me. I should have been a better Tsar, I should have done things differently. I looked back at my family all of them filled with hope.

I heard the wooden double doors creak open with a swift motion. Yakov Yurovsky, our head captor of the house walked in, making the wooden floor creak. He stood tall with more bolshevik officers holding their guns behind him. Yurovsky took out a large piece of paper and started to read,

"Nikolai Alexandrovich, in view of the fact that your relatives are continuing their attack on Soviet Russia, the Ural Executive Committee has decided to execute you and your family"

"What? What?" I yelled out in panic. All I remember in that moment was hearing gasps and looking back at my family, I looked at my daughters, my wife, and my sons face for the last time. Alexei looked back at me and called out, "Papa!"

When I looked back at Yurovsky he had his gun pointed at me. I felt my heart speed up and the room get small. The rest of the men had their guns pointed at my family.  I turned to Alexei and he was the last person I saw before hearing gunshots echo throughout the small room. I didn't feel anything but the feeling of burning till I looked down to see a hole in my chest, stained with blood. Hearing more gunshots, I closed my eyes knowing that I have failed them.

My family is going to die because of me and I went out first.

I failed.

I failed as a father

I failed as a husband

And I failed as Tsar.

And now these next few minutes, seconds, even hours maybe, my family will suffer and I won't be able to prevent it at all.