This Bad Boy I'm With

[42]: Implicitness

I AM SOOOOO BAAACKKK! yay yay yay yay yay and anotherrrr yaaaaay!!

ok sorry i wont do that yay thing again

ARE YOU EXCITED? ARE YOU? ARE YOUUUUU BC YOU SHOULD BE! GO AND READ NOWWWWWW (i am so hyped up forgive me)

[42]: Implicitness

The next few days were a lot harder, especially after the incident with Layla. I felt like I've been slapped hard on the face, waking me up, to see reality and realized that instead of moping around, maybe I should just accept everything that's happening to me now.

The problem is, that's the hardest part. 

It seems so hard to accept that you miss this one guy  so bad that it makes your heart ache and you know that this guy is the reason why these things happened to you and you're not even sure if this guy feels the same for you.  

I have been wanting to see Seth and talk to him, just to know what he feels for me so that everything would be clear. But then, I haven't seen Seth ever since. I don't see him in his house. No one sees him in school anymore-- probably avoiding either Layla or me or both. Even his bestfriends were missing in action.

"So which color suits me best, this pastel green or navy blue one?" Jasmine asked, holding two dresses on each hand. We were going out shopping for new school supplies when Jasmine and  Grace suddenly felt the urge to check out new dresses for the upcoming Christmas formal dance which was happening in three week's time.

 "I like both," I heard Grace reply as I lifted clothes to survey them. "but the blue one looks so elegant. What do you think, Thea?"

"I'd also go for the blue one," I said shifting my gaze back to Jasmine. "Classy."

"Then I'm getting it," she said and went to the fitting room.

"Did you find something nice?" Grace asked.

"I did find some," I replied. "but I don't need dresses."

"Right," she said. "I just remembered. The dance committee has their own dresses."

I nodded. "What about you? Did you find something?"

"A lot. But I'm still searching for the perfect dress."

"Don't worry, you still have 3 weeks."

"And I still need to find the perfect make-up, shoes, hairstyle, perfume, accessories and nail polish."

"Did I mention that you still have 3 weeks?"

She smiled. "No, but you kind of forgot to say that mainstream bff line that goes 'Don't worry, I'll always be by your side'."

"Oh sorry, 'insert corny bff line here'." I said, rolling my eyes jokingly.

"How sweet," Grace said, rolling her eyes too and we both laughed.

Once we both sobered up, I sighed, both happily and sadly, staring right ahead into nothingness.

"You still miss him, don't you?" Grace asked.

I didn't look at her. "Is it that obvious?"

"Everyday," she replied. "We see it."

"You know, sometimes, before I go to sleep, I just tell myself that I was being a distraction to him, that's why he avoids me now," I said. "And sometimes, I don't know what to tell myself; whether I'm strong because I lasted another day without him or that I'm a big guilty coward for messing his life up."

"You don't have to blame yourself. God knows there could be a hundred reasons why he acts like that now."

"And there could be one out of one hundred that that reason is me."