Stuck in Yesterday

Chapter Five

TW: (not so great) description of anxiety attack, depressing thoughts (I think that's it?)
If you are sensitive to any of these things, read with caution. I will put a warning for when the TW part will end. Stay safe everyone.❤️

Virgil's P.O.V

  As soon as he recognized who was in front of him, he scrambled to to shove his sketchbook into the depths of his backpack. But instead of zipping up the bag, he only held it shut and kept his gaze lowered and away from the three pairs of prying eyes of the teens near him.

  "Hi again, Virgil! How's lunch going?" Patton tried again, this time followed by an uncomfortable giggle.

  Virgil took a second to respond, eyes still glued to his bag. "... It's fine," he mumbled, "how was your lunch?"

  "It was wonderful, thank you!" Patton exclaimed happily.

  Virgil smiled slightly, finally turning slightly to face them. He took a moment to observe each of their expressions. Patton, as he had imagined, had the same wide grin he greeted him with that morning on his face and his baby blue eyes stared eagerly at him. Logan had a look of slight exasperation on his features,  his eyes cool and calculating. When he looked over to Roman it was clear by his scowl and narrowed chocolate colored eyes that he was not pleased to be there. "So," he began with a sigh, turning back to the backpack that he currently had an iron grip on, "is there something that you need?"

  "Why do you say that kiddo?" Patton asked, his grin falling ever so slightly.

  Virgil turned and looked him directly in the eyes. "Why else would you be here talking to me?"

  At that, Patton's face fell completely. His eyes started to glaze over and lip quivered. "Oh, kiddo..." was all he said.

  Oh no oh no oh no is he going to cry? I screwed up. No no no, Virgil panicked.
Seeing his companion start to tear up, Roman blew up at him. "What is wrong with you?! You've been so rude to us even though we've been trying to welcome you to this school! And now you've dared to made Patton cry?! He's been nothing but kind to you!"

  As the enraged boy in front of him continued to rant and berate him, Virgil himself started to tear up and curl in on himself. In the middle of his rant, Patton place a hand on his shoulder and in a pleaded, "Roman, please stop you're making a scene. Look," then gestured to the near bye tables.

  Virgil also looked, and what he saw made his heart nearly stop. Multiple tables of students were watching the spectacle, some were even recording them! That on top of all the yelling from Roman, Virgil's breath began to quicken. I need to get out of here! Virgil thought desperately.

  With shaking hands, he gathered up the rest of his things and chucked them into his bag, fumbling to zip up his backpack. As he did so he tried to go through his breathing technique. In for four. Hold for seven. Out for eight. Repeat.

  He stood quickly and slung his bag over his right shoulder. The sudden movement seemed to take Roman by surprise, because he jumped back slightly. Virgil, who's breath was still ragged and shallow and his eyes brimming with tears, glared at him. Then he turned to Patton. He stuttered in a slightly harsh tone, "hav-have a go-go-good day, P-pat."

  Then, without another word or passing glance, he bolted. He heard Patton try to call after him, but he kept on running until he reached the boys bathrooms. Through blurry vision he spotted an empty stall, and when inside he let it all out. (TW part begins here) He violently sobbed, sinking to the floor. No matter how he tried, he couldn't seem to get his breath to even out. The only thing keeping him from collapsing on the floor was his arms, which were shaking as hard as the rest of his body was. And just when he thought his anxiety attack couldn't get any worse, the voices started.

Pathetic

Crybaby

Weak

Selfish Brat

What is wrong with you?

Rude

Selfish

  With each insult his breath seemed to speed up and the more he sobbed. He thought that he may have heard something from outside of the stall, but he was so caught up in what the voices were say and the sounds of his shallow breathing that he couldn't focus on it. He couldn't focus on anything.

Idiot

Useless

They hate you now

Worthless

  For a fleeting moment, he heard another voice over the one in his head. He didn't know who it was or if he was even hearing anything at all. But in that moment he didn't care. The voice said calmly, "Virgil, if you can hear me I want you to know I'm sorry and that I'm here."

  Though tears blinded him and his body was trembling with emotion and the pace of his breathing, he gathered all his strength to crawl towards the voice. Though he didn't get far. He crumble to the ground after moving and accidentally banging his head on the stall door. Pain blossomed on his forehead and his vision became fuzzy. He could no longer understand what the voice was saying, but he thought he could detect a panicked tone. In his final attempt to reach the voice he slid his hand in front of him and through the large crack underneath the door. Before everything went black, he thought he felt a smaller, soft hand take ahold of his.