Byte Back | 6 Underground

3. I'm Batman

March 31st, 3:27 p.m.
Shooting Range, California Desert

It was hot outside, yet somehow I felt comforted by the sun. I was standing in the middle of the shooting range, where One told us to meet. I could see all six of them walking toward me.

Once they were four feet away from me, I said, "Y'know what I just noticed?"

"What?" One answered.

"You guys are like the Bat Family."

"The what?"

"The Bat Family," Four said. "Batman. Bruce Wayne?"

One seemed less confused. "Yeah, I know Batman. But I didn't know he had a family."

"Yeah. You are Batman. Two is Batwoman and Three is Nightwing because they have a little somethin' going on. Four is Robin because he's the young one and you treat him like your son," I said to One, which made his eyebrows raise. I ignored him. "Five is Batgirl because she is in a relationship with Four even though they don't want to admit it. Seven is Red Robin because he is like One's right hand. And I'm Jason Todd because you guys trust me but not fully, yet I'm still considered part of the family."

Four started to loudly clap. "I have never heard anything more accurate in my whole entire life."

"No, no, no. I'm Batman," Three said while pointing at himself.

One stuttered as though offended. "I'm Batman. You're irrelevant."

It was like a few days ago all over again: Two slapped Three, he retreaded like a puppy, and I chuckled at the fact that Two can make a grown, macho man like Three act so submissively.

"What do you want from us?" Five asked.

One sighed. "Well, Eight informed me yesterday that Mr. Foxwell's assistant is skilled."

Seven's eyes narrowed in disgust. "Why the fuck do we care about that?"

"Jesus, not like that."

"She knows MMA. She worked for the Australian Army for four years. And she is fluent in English, German, Spanish, French, Chinese, and is currently learning Portuguese," I said.

"How do you know all of that?" Five asked.

"Duolingo has a very hackable database."

"Fuck," Three said under his breath. "Why does a man like Foxwell need an assistant like that?"

"I have heard some stupid questions in my lifetime but that one... that one takes the prize," One said.

I rolled my eyes. "He has enemies, Three. Foxwell has robbed millions of dollars from other companies. Why do you think Sears' stock is dying?"

Five looked at me, confused. "I thought that was because Bed Bath & Beyond was killing Sears."

"In part. Foxwell made Sears pay a lot of money to develop an app. Sears did so but the app was a failure after a few months."

Five turned to One, mouth agape. "How old is she? How does she know all this stuff?"

"She's 22 and she has been hacking for ten years," One answered, nonchalantly.

"Eleven," I corrected.

"Well, thank God you replaced me," Five said. Her comment made Four snicker, which made Five hit his shoulder.

One took out a picture of Foxwell's assistant. "This is Cassandra Wolfe. She—"

"Mamasita," Three remarked.

One groaned. "Leave your horny comments to yourself. There are kids here." I rolled my eyes. "She's skilled with guns. So, on that note, we are here to officially start gun practice." He motioned for Two to walk toward him.

Two stepped forward and walked behind One toward a table. What seemed like fifty different types of guns laid on the table, craving to be used. She touched a few before landing on a simple .45 Beretta.

Paper and metal targets were displayed about ten feet before her and One. She acted gracefully as she quickly shot all of the targets with pinpoint accuracy. She stopped once she ran out of ammo. Holes were visible on the paper targets and dents on the metal ones. My mouth was wide open. The others seemed unimpressed.

One turned around and chuckled when he saw me. "Eight, you will have private lessons with Two. Four and Five, practice with Three. Seven, you go snipe."

We all dispersed. Two put her hand on my shoulder. "You can close your mouth now."

"How can you shoot so accurately?"

She chuckled. "I was CIA. Shooting was my job." She gave me a .38 and told me to shoot as many targets as I could. I tried to but didn't do as good as Two. She seemed impressed, though. "So you do have experience with guns?"

I nodded. "Not rifles, though. They're too big for me."

Three heard me from a distance because he said, "That's what she said."

Two sighed and I snickered. "What do you see in him?" I asked her.

She thought about it for a second. "I don't know. Maybe it's the beard or his cute stupidity."

"Since when is stupidity cute?"

"It's not," she gave me more ammo, "but it suits him."

April 1st, 2:49 a.m.
Skateboarding Pit, California Desert

I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about my family and how devastated they were when they saw the van explode. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't take being away from my family.

The sound of wheels was faint. My insomnia would not go away, so I stood up from my bed and followed the noise.

After a few minutes or so, I could see Four skateboarding and doing tricks. He kept trying to do a very dramatized heelflip but could not do it.

Four muttered "Balls," every time he failed.

I chuckled a little bit too loudly, for he stopped trying to flip his skateboard. "Who's there?"

I came out of the shadows. "It's me. Don't worry."

"Sorry. It's 3 a.m., so I have to be cautious."

"Do you seriously believe in the devil?"

"Yeah. Of course, I do," he answered, matter-of-factly.

"Y'know, a very wise man once said, 'Laughter kills fear, and without fear, there can be no faith. For without fear of the devil, there is no need for God.' You should try to do that from time to time."

"Who said that? Your dad?"

"No... Sean Connery."

"Ah," he sighed. "The best James Bond that ever existed."

"Excuse you, what about Pierce Brosnan?"

He chuckled. "If you're gonna bring Brosnan into this, then don't forget about Daniel Craig."

I gasped. "You're right." After a short pause, I said, "He's hot." To which Four answered, "All of them are hot. They have to be. Half of James Bond's duty is purely to be hot."