Cherry Blossoms-Bakudeku(angst)

Part 4

TW: needles, anxiety, hospital, mentions of suicide and mentions of self harm

Bakugo's POV:

After that I woke up in a hospital bed with a goddamn needle stuck in my arm. I managed to come to the conclusion that ripping the needle out of my arm would most likely be a bad decision so instead I swung my legs over the bed, grabbed my IV pole and stood but ended up falling right back onto the hospital bed as I was overcome by a wave of dizziness. I pressed my hand against my forehead to brace myself and felt a series of stitches there. I must have hit my head somehow. I was about to stand up again when a man in a white coat entered the room. Upon seeing my attempt to remove myself from bed he smiled that 'doctor smile' at me "Please refrain from getting out of the bed Mr..." he looked down at his clipboard "Bakugo. You sustained an injury to your head and need to rest." He was still smiling, I didn't like it, something didn't feel right, why was I even here? "Can you recall what happened?" Doctor 'fake smile' continued.

I looked at him, confused. He must have taken that as a signal to continue because he did "you passed out after having a panic attack and hit your head on the concrete." When had that happened? I didn't remember that. "We ended up having to give you stitches, just two of them so it won't take too long to heal." He was still smiling, I didn't know why it bothered me so much but it did, something wasn't right here.

"Why the hell am I here!?" I asked, frustration rising in my voice

"Calm down sir, you're here because you had a panic attack and injured your head when you fell at the junior high."

I fell at school? But I- and just like that the memories came flooding back, stabbing through my heart like a dagger. My chest felt like it was about to explode, I was suffocating. The room began to tilt in front of me and I was panic-stricken with the very thought that he could be... he could be... no, he can't be, but... I shook my head to clear the thoughts from my mind but it didn't do much, the memories of what had happened and the fact that I may never see him again, or get the chance to apologize, were all that I could think about. I felt sick to my stomach as the terror overwhelmed me, I was sure that if I had been standing, my legs would have given out. So I sat there, paralyzed, staring straight forward with my teeth clenched and my chest heaving. I wanted to ask him about Izuku but I couldn't bring myself to, the words wouldn't form and I didn't think I could have opened my mouth if I tried.

The doctor seemed to notice my distress (no surprise) and his smile fell. He sighed, "I suppose you're wondering about your classmate, the one you came here with." I managed to nod my head ever so slightly. "Considering your condition I don't think it's the best time to inform you of their condition, however, I can sympathize with how you're feeling and I know that not telling you will only worsen the situation." I couldn't think of anything to say so I stayed silent "The good news, it that your classmate is alive."

 My heart skipped a beat, he was alive! Izuku was alive! That meant there was still a chance that he'd be okay! There was still hope and I was going to hang on to that hope with everything I had if it was the last goddamn thing I did. I looked up at the doctor, who looked as though he had gained about ten years, as he continued "the bad news," right, there's always bad news, "is that they're comatose and we aren't totally sure if they'll make it. They're in very critical condition and their body is very weak, not just from the fall, they had a frail body to begin with and have a lot of scaring from other instances that took a lot out of their system."

 Scaring? What scaring? Why would he have scars? Izuku never got into fights and I never hit him hard enough to leave a scar, I made sure of that. He wasn't into any dangerous activities and I knew Inko would never hurt him. So where the hell did the scars come- oh. Realization hit me, he didn't get those scars from someone else or from a stupid game, he'd given them to himself. The thought of that was terrifying to me.

I choked down my horror and croaked out a few words "Can I- can I s-see him?" I couldn't see myself but I could tell I was making the most pitiful looking face ever, I would have beat myself up for making that face but honestly, I didn't care, I just wanted to see Izuku. {hi, author here, I would just like to say, please don't take the people you love for granted because you never know when you won't get to see them again, when my friend passed away, I remember that all I wanted was to see her again. sorry about the interruption, thank you for reading this<3}

"I'm very sorry but you can't visit him just yet, it's family only at the moment and you still need to rest. Come back in a week, at the soonest, and I'll try to sneak you in." I looked at him in shock "I know I'm not supposed to but I know what this all feels like and I want to help you out as much as I can." He laughed nervously and rubbed the back of his neck. Maybe I had misjudged this guy. I nodded my thanks and buried my head in my hands. "You should try to sleep or at least rest a bit until you can leave." I positioned myself back onto the stiff hospital mattress and leaned back on the pillows with my legs and the blanket curled into my chest. "You're mom couldn't be here because she had to work but she'll be here tonight to take you home." Right, my mother, I didn't want to think about what she would say, I didn't really want to face anyone right now, especially not her. I expected the doctor to leave but he continued, "Do you have anyone you can talk to? A friend of family member? It's just that, I know from personal experience that it's good to have someone to talk to about these things and your mom didn't necessarily seem like the, sympathetic type. Do you know any of his friends that you could talk to?"

I shook my head, "He uh, he didn't really have any friends."

He looked at me in a way I'd never seen anyone look at me before, it wasn't pity, it was something else, like he saw a part of me that wasn't physically there, it was almost as if he was seeing himself in me. "Well, if there's no one you can think of, you're always welcome to come to me. It's better of course to talk to someone else that knew him but I'll be here if you want someone to talk to. And, no, you won't be a bother to me, this is why I chose this job. I wouldn't have offered to help if I didn't mean it."

I nodded, "Thanks"

He smiled at me and left the room. I closed my eyes and sat there, letting the tears burn my cheeks, hoping they would drown me and wash away the pain.